Before I Fall
by RECH2O
Summary: It's 6 years before Emma, Cleo, and Rikki become mermaids. How was everyone then and what brought them to where they were that day? How did 9-year-old Bella handle being a mermaid? Read and find out.
1. Chapter 1

**Before I Fall**

_Summary- It's 6 years before the day Emma, Cleo, and Rikki found themselves stranded on Mako Island and things are very different for the way they are now. So how does everyone become the way they are the day they came ashore on their magical island? How does Bella become the way she is the day she sees Cleo and Rikki on the beach? What happened in 6 years that brought all the girls to where they were before their lives fell apart?_

**Chapter 1**

Bella's Journal:

I am 9 and life has not been going as I was hoping it would. My parents have dragged us to some secluded part of Ireland and there is absolutely nothing to do. Ian and I are the only kids on the sight, other than Mallory, the cooks teenage daughter. Our choices of things to do is hang around the hotel with my father or go out into nature with my mother. What do you thing I chose.

The place my mother was working in that day was on the cliffs not far from the hotel. They looked over the ocean and there were many places to explore. So I started off as soon as my mother wasn't looking at me. The climb down the cliffs was fun. There were different sounds coming from everywhere.

When it started to get dark, I didn't feel like coming up. In fact, I felt I had to keep climbing down. I didn't stop until I found a cave with water coming up like a beach, but it wasn't a beach because the water stopped at a rock wall. In side this cave, I felt happy, not scared as I should've. Everything was peaceful.

When it was really dark, I decided to get into the water, wearing my dress and everything. I watched as the full moon came over the hole in the roof. It was so pretty I couldn't take my eyes off of it. I don't remember much after that, except the fact that I went back to my mom and Ian, who had been looking for me and that we went back to the hotel and went to bed.

The next morning, daddy had let me go swimming by myself in the hotel's pool. Not even the lifeguards were there. The pool was not that deep, I could touch almost everywhere, but it still made me feel older.

Without thinking, I went to the side of the pool and jumped in. Not 10 secants after I had entered the water the strangest thing happened, I had grown a mermaid's tail. I was so scared I didn't know what to do.

Emma's Journal:

First place, it is the biggest accomplishment of mine up to this moment. I made first place at the meet the other day, and I knew from that moment that I would be swimming forever. That night I told my mother I wanted to sign up for the bigger team that swims all year and that I wanted to be the best swimmer in the world. My mother laughed and told me she would sign me up for the team, but that we would see where that took us.

"I want to be on the team too," My little brother Elliot cried. "I want to be like Emma."

Elliot was 5 and wanted to do everything I wanted to do. He was also swimming, but he could barely get across the lane, let alone fast. But I let him follow me around and do everything I did as long as it made him happy. I knew eventually he would stop wanting to be with me all the time and leave me alone, like Cleo's sister Kim.

Cleo was daddy's friend's daughter, and my friend, but she didn't swim or go to my school or even come over a lot. Zane, on the other hand, was over here all the time. He had been in my class since we were in Kindergarten, and he was on the swim team with me. Then Cleo had this friend, Kate, but I have never met Kate at all. I just here a lot about her from Cleo when she does come over. I don't think I would like Kate that much.

So yesterday, my mother and I went and signed me up for the big swim team, and we got things like bathing suits, swim caps, goggles, and a bag to put it all in. I couldn't wait till I got to go to my first practice.

Cleo's Journal:

I'm still a little confused. I know what death means, and what happens when someone dies, but I don't know why Kate died, I don't know why my class died and my teachers died but I didn't. Even the police said they don't know why I lived and Kate and everyone else didn't. I mean, I was in the water. I could breath or find the surface or swim like I was taught. I felt like I had died, but then I woke up and saw mommy and daddy and I knew I didn't. But they told me Kate did.

It's almost a week since that day, and my parents keep wanting me to talk to the police. But I don't know what to say. All I remember is the nice field trip, then the water, the evil water that didn't want to let me go. All I had said since that day was, "I'm not going near the water again, ever, ever."

My parents also say that they want me to go back to school, but they are afraid I'm not ready. I don't want to go back to school. I want to stay home with mommy and daddy. I don't want to go to go to school where I would be all alone. I want to stay home where I'm never alone or near the water.

The nice woman with the clipboard also said I should go back to school. She said that it would be better for me if I go back to school and talk to kids my age. But all my friends are gone, so who would I talk to? I would have no one to talk to, or play with on the play ground. I was not going back to school even if I never talked to anyone except Emma ever again.

Rikki's journal:

I could hear their screams that morning all the way up in my room on the third floor. They had been fight like that for weeks, and I couldn't stand it anymore. Mom kept saying things like, "When are you getting a new job?" and "I am the only one bring money into this house." Then Dad would yell something along the lines of, "I can't believe you brought that up again," and "I make money as well." I just couldn't listen any more.

I spent my usual hour in the shower, letting the sound of the water wash away their words, as the water running down my cheek washed away my tears. I didn't want anyone at school to know I was crying. At school I was the best student. The only one with both parents, and a house, and nice things, and being the donator not the recipient.

My mom was a big donator to the small schools and small villages of South Africa. Because of that, she always wanted to send me to those small schools and have me talk with the under privileged kids. I didn't care, much. I like some of the kids I went to school with, even if they had no idea what I had and could give. And I liked giving things to them. It made me feel good that I could give to people who had less than me.

I spent that day at school like a zombie. There was no penetrating me. Then that night I saw what I never wanted to see. My dad had three bags as he drove away from the house.

_A/N: So tell me what you think of this. Each chapter will usually just be one persons journal entry. I know things aren't were they should be when the show started. That's the point. They will get to that point by the end of the story. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 2 **

Bella's Journal

It's been two days since I found out I was a mermaid, and things have gotten hard. I can't touch water without growing a tail. When I stick my hand out in a funny way, water turns to jelly. And I don't know who I can tell about this. I don't want to tell my parents, they might take me to a doctor or worse, not believe me. I have to remind myself sometimes, adults don't like to believe kids my age. They would say I was just playing some silly game, or going through some stage. But I'm not some baby any more. I'm in the upper ring of grade school. Even Ian says that counts for something.

But I have to tell someone. I can't keep something like this to myself. I just need to pick someone who will believe me and help me. Friends are out of the question. They would either be to jealous to be around me or go and tell their parents who would tell mine and get me sent to the doctor. The only other person I could think of was Ian. Ian and I shared everything, because we moved so much, we considered each other our best friends. Ian said he would always look out for me and that is why I am the only 3rd grader who hasn't gotten their lunch money stolen or their backpack thrown in the mud by a 5th grader.

That night Ian was packing his backpack for our first day of school the next day. For Ian, getting prepared washed away the nerves in the same way writing about my life helped me get over mine. Our father had a big party to run and he liked having my mother with him when he had to make appearances at parties. Since we were only on the second floor of the hotel, mom and dad said Ian could watch me for that little time. That meant me and Ian were alone.

I stood and watched Ian pack for a few moments before saying, "Ian can we talk."

Ian turned around and faced me. I knew he understood the seriousness in my voice because when he wanted to be serious he called me Isabella, not Bella.

"Isabella, what is the matter?" He asked walking me to the couch.

"Something happened to me two days ago, and I don't know how?" I admitted.

He looked at me with eyes that said he was paying complete attention. So I went on to say. "I think I am a mermaid."

"You think?" he questioned.

I nodded. "When I went swimming, I had a tail. And when I do this…" I put my hand out and showed him how I made jelly out of water. He jumped and looked at me.

"Isabella, how did this happen?" Ian asked.

"I don't know, that's just it." I said starting to cry. "Will you help me?"

"Of course I will," Ian said. "But we are not going to tell mom or dad, got it." I nodded with a smile.

"Thanks Ian," I said.

The next day was the first day of my new school. I let my mom braid my hair and dress me in a silly frilly purple dress. I let my dad pack my lunch, even though he never packed anything good. Ian watched me as I let my parents do things I would never let them do on a daily bases. He didn't say anything, but he could tell I was not myself, and I wasn't. I wasn't ready to start school as a mermaid yet. I could also not help but keep quiet and say yes to everything then tell mom and dad about me. So that day at school, Ian had to do more protecting than ever to keep the 5th graders off of me.

My class was odd. There were 25 kids in my class, not including me. There were twelve girls and thirteen boys. The girls all seemed to know each other and the boys all seemed so gross and annoying. I sat alone during lunch and stood alone in a corner during reassess. After school, I saw Ian talking to some of the big boys. He was always so good at getting friends.

When I got home, I dropped my school bag and decided to go to the beach and play with my new powers, if that's what they are. I went swimming in the ocean, played with dolphins and turned some water into jelly. It made me feel a lot better knowing no one in the world could follow me out here. I had finally found a place where I could be alone. I was starting to rethink this whole mermaid thing. It was great.

That night, my mom didn't even ask where I had been. My dad wasn't there and she was going crazy trying to make dinner and help Ian with homework. Ian just smiled and waved when I came in. It was like I was in middle school or high school or older than I really was. My mom was way too occupied with work and Ian to even look my way. It was fun.

That night I stayed awake in my bed looking at the ocean view from my window. I couldn't wait to go back out in the water. I belonged in the water. And from this day on no one could keep me away from the water. It was a girls dream come true. I had the powers of a princess and the ability to do as I pleased with these powers. And no one would find out ever, thanks to my best big brother Ian. This was going to be great.

There was only one problem I still had to deal with. Swimming lessons at school would start in three days, and it was mandatory for me to participate. But I couldn't get wet in public. I didn't know what to do.


	3. Chapter 3

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 3**

Emma's Journal

First day of swim practice was scary. There were many girls much bigger and much better than me. No one talked to me or had me introduced. The couch didn't even acknowledge that I was there. I felt so out of place.

Then there were these four girls in my lane that caught my eye. Their names were Brittany, Penelope, Ginger, and Marta. They were always together and didn't talk to anyone else. I don't know why, but I wanted to be like them.

Brittany had long brown hair and wore a nice new looking pick swimsuit. She didn't wear a cap, but her hair was in a bun, a really nice ballerina's bun. She looked like she was the leader of the four girls and that she was the richest. If I was not mistaken, I believe she live near Zane or next to him or something.

Penelope looked like she was the most into the swimming thing. She had a blue swimsuit, a matching blue cap and blue goggles. In fact, everything she owned was blue. I was surprised when she pulled off her cap and her hair wasn't blue. It was blond and really curly. Penelope's mother was our main couch and her two older sister were our assistant couches. Even her older brother was a student couch. I didn't know much about her father, but I think he is the only one not a great swimmer.

Ginger, on the other hand, didn't seem like she belonged in the group. She had short lose red hair. She wore what looked like a very worn yellow swimsuit with a sunflower on it. She wore white goggles that looked scratched and about to brake. She also didn't talk much. Brittany talked for her more than I heard her voice that practice.

Marta was the most different, though. I think she was from India or Japan or something like that. She too had short hair, but hers was jet black and almost perfectly straight, wet and dry. She had a purple swimsuit with green polka dots and sparkles. She spoke with an accent and mostly about her dad's money and power or her mom's work with her school and many others.

I didn't quite know why, but they seemed like they were the kind of friends that made friendship bracelets, had slumber parties, and told each other everything. I wanted friends like that and they were the best friends for that.

When my mother picked me up, I told her all about how the older kids made me scared and how I was the slowest person in my lane. I did not tell her about the four girls and how I was going to try to be friends with them. My mother told me that I had to get use to the practice and work at it if I wanted to be a great swimmer. I agreed with her and that was the end of that.

The next practice was better. I stood behind Brittany, Penelope, Ginger and Marta. I was scared to talk to them, but finally I got up the courage to say, "Hi, I'm Emma."

All three girls turned around and looked into my eyes. I felt as if I should not have said anything at all. But then Brittany smiled and said, "I'm Brittany that's Marta, Ginger and Penelope."

"Emma, like Emma Gilbert?" Marta ask. "Like the Emma Gilbert Zane told me about yesterday."

"Yeah," I admitted, afraid of where she was going with that.

"Zane Bennett, the one with the big house and the swimming pool?" Brittany asked.

"Yeah," I admitted again upset that I even said hi.

"That is so cool," Brittany said, and I smiled. "You want to come to my house after practice. Ginger, Penelope, and Marta do and we watch movies and play with dolls."

I smiled, happy to be invited to play with the girls. "Yeah, I would like to go over to your house and play with dolls or watch movies."

Brittany smiled and said, "Great." At that point we had another two laps to do and there was no more talking.

After practice, my mom let me go with Brittany, Ginger, Marta and Penelope over to Brittany's where we played with her dolls and watch a princess movie. Brittany's house was two house away from Zane's. It was not as bog and didn't have a pool, but Brittany did have three room to herself, since she had no brothers or sisters. It was so cool. I wanted a house like that, but with a pool, like Zane.

Brittany let us try on some of her fancy dresses. She had a lot of fancy dresses and a lot of accessories to put on with them. Her mom didn't even care that we played with her nice clothes. My mom would completely freak if she knew I was playing with my nice clothes. But Brittany's mom thought it was cute and took lots of pictures.

Brittany even had a play set in her back yard. It had three swings, monkey bar, a little house and two slides. The whole place was in a sand box and Brittany had many sand toys, like buckets shovels and drainers to look for treasure. It also helped for when falling off the monkey bars.

I loved being at Brittany's house. It was much more fun than with any of the other girls my mom and dad try to get me to play with. And her house was so much better than mine. I could find any reason not to be friends with Brittany, Ginger, Marta, and Penelope. They were nice and always made me feel like I belonged. I never again felt out of place at swim practice, and it was all because I said hello to Brittany and her friends.


	4. Chapter 4

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 4**

Cleo's Journal

So against my wanting, my parents sent me back to school. It has been about two weeks since the accident, which is still not positively an accident. The lady with the clipboard brought me to school that day. I sat in the principal's office for what felt like forever before we started walking towards the third grade wing.

When we passed my normal class room, I saw that the lights were off and everything was still as it had always been. The lady with the clipboard said some man got all of my things from my old class room and that I would be going to a new class room with a teacher named Mrs. Haring. I couldn't get over the feeling that I shouldn't be back at school.

When the lady with the clipboard opened the door, I saw the teacher and students look up at me. I stayed close to the lady with the clipboard as she talked to my teacher, who then talked to the class. I looked around and saw kids I knew from previous years, but no one I was close to. I had also seen the teacher before, I just never really knew her by name or very well.

The desk were in sets of four, shaped like a square. There were two girls and two boys at almost each group. There were a few groups though that had three boys or three girls. Only two groups only had three kids altogether.

"Cleo, why don't you go sit in the empty desk with Merriam, Lewis and Nate," Mrs. Haring told me pointing to a desk in the back.

I looked up to the lady with the clipboard, she took me to my seat and whispered, "It'll be ok."

I looked down at the desk to see my name had already been taped to the desk in the same style as the other three kids in my group. All of the things I had in my old desk were here in this desk down to the last pencil, but it was put away neater than I had it. I guessed the teacher had done this.

After I was settled and had my notebook out, the clipboard lady left me alone in the class. The teacher started talking about that weeks spelling words as a girl, named Tiffany, started passing out a sheet with ten words typed neatly in a row. When Tiffany came by our group, Merriam laughed and handed her a folded up piece of paper. They were obviously good friends.

Class dragged on like before the accident. Since all classes were always doing the same thing, I was only lost when it came to what they had learned the two weeks I had been out of school, which wasn't a whole lot. We read a story out of our text book, we did math problems, we practiced cursive, and we went to the library. Then there was lunch and reassess.

The third graders had last lunch and reassess right after. At lunch we sat in fours. In my old class we could chose who we sat with. Lucky for me, this class had to sit in the same fours we sat in during class. Lewis and Nate talked a lot about some video game and traded food as Merriam made disguised looks at the two of them. I didn't talk as much as they did. I listened though. I could tell Merriam didn't like either of the boys, and that Lewis was quieter than Nate.

On the play ground, I watched as the other kids ran around and played. I stood in a spot safe from runners, ball players, and playground players. I could tell the teachers had their eyes on me the whole time, but I didn't care. I just wanted to get home and away from people who didn't like me.

After school, I went and hid in my room. Since my dad worked on a boat and my mother did many volunteer jobs, Kim and I were home with our babysitter, Bobby. Bobby let us do pretty much anything. She was Kim's and my favorite babysitter. Our other babysitter was Jen. She was more protective and wouldn't leave us alone. That's why our mom got Bobby to watch us after school.

Bobby was in the kitchen making cookies with Kim. She didn't mind that I hid in my room by myself all the time. She was always playing with Kim, who needed constant attention. Kim had been know to throw tantrums when alone, and Bobby loved little kids.

But that day, Bobby came into my room with Kim in tow. She smiled when she saw my dolls all laid out in party dresses. Kim was caring Nichol, her favorite doll she never let go. Bobby walked in and picked up Vicky, my feed me doll, and said, "You want someone to play with. We could all have a tea party with real tea and cookies."

I looked up at her and picked up Aqua, my mermaid doll. Without a word, I followed her and Kim down stairs and sat at the table in my normal spot. I had just come down to get some cookies, but Bobby saw it as some game. So did Kim, and they started to talk as if from some time long ago. I just sat and listened, waiting for the cookies.

Just then the door opened and I heard my mommy's voice say, "Wow, it is hot out there."

"Mommy," Kim cried running towards the door. I stayed seated.

"Oh, Kimmy, how was your day?" She asked as she lifted Kim and she laughed.

"Fun, we had a fire fighter come," Kim exclaimed.

"Oh you did now," My mom said setting her down and looking at me at the table. "And how about you, sweetie."

"It was fine," I said before running up the stairs to the spot where they couldn't see me, but I could see them.

"She went straight for her room, and when she was out, she didn't talk or participate," Bobby whispered to my mom.

"Oh, well thanks for trying, Bobby," My mom whispered handing Bobby her money. "We're just going to have to try something new."

I didn't like the sound of that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 5**

Rikki's Journal

I woke up that morning to the smell of smoke coming from the kitchen. I made my way quickly down stairs to find my mom in the kitchen of the phone and smoke coming from the oven. I quickly turned the oven off and turned to my mom who was now off the phone.

"Are you ok, sweet?" she asked pulling me away from the oven. "Here, just take this lunch pack today."

"I took a lunch pack yesterday," I reminded her.

"Yeah, I know, I'll get better," She said as she kissed me on the forehead. "Ok, school time, let's get to the car."

I grabbed my backpack and followed my mother outside. She got in the car just as her phone was ringing. She answered it and was on the phone all the way to school. When I got out of the car I said, "Don't forget to pick me up after book club."

My mom waved me off and I closed the door and started for the building. Just inside I found Kylie waiting for me. Kylie was smiling, wearing a brown dress and many beads. I smiled and waved, running up to her.

"Rikki, how's it going at home?" She asked as we started to class. "Is your mom doing better?"

Kylie was my best friend. I told her everything that happened to me. If something happened, and I wanted to keep it a secret, I would tell Kylie. Kylie was also really great at everything. She was one of the kids my mom was giving a second chance. Kylie's family was worse off than mine, but she always wanted to hear about my problem than talk about hers.

"My mom had not been doing any better," I told her. "Today she caught the oven of fire."

"That's bad," Kylie said. Then there was a pause before we made it to our classroom. Then Kylie looked at me and asked, "How many more visits before they send you to your dad's?"

"Two," I answered, knowing that if I went with my dad, I wouldn't ever see Kylie or my other friends again. "Let's not think about that." I said with a smile as we entered the classroom.

"Right," Kylie said sitting down at her desk.

We were silent for the rest of class. But I couldn't help but have the idea stuck in my head that I was going to be sent with my dad. I didn't want to leave my friends. But I didn't really want to stay with my mom. I wanted my dad to move back in. I wanted my family to be together again. I wanted everyone to be together and happy. But I never got what I wanted.

School went by slowly. I don't remember a whole lot. There were some math problems, some words to spell, some history to remember, but I didn't remember the exact material. I kept my head down and away from the teacher's view. I wasn't called on and I didn't have to talk to anyone but Kylie.

This was how it had been since my dad left. I would go through school like a robot with no thoughts or feelings. Kylie was the only one who saw through the mask I was starting to put up.

After school, Kylie and I made our way to the makeshift library with our finished books. Other third graders were there and there were the two third grade teachers. They had set out cookies and brownies the two teachers and the volunteer moms had made. My mom's brownies were in the center. I took one of each but hers. Then I sat down with Kylie and her twin brother Kyven.

The book club went by fast and before I knew it, everyone was going home. I sat and waited with my teacher until all the other kids were gone. Then we waited some more. We waited thirty minutes after all the other kids left before we went to call my mom. It took another thirty minutes to get a hold of her. I could tell my teacher was mad, but she tried not to show it in front of me. It was another thirty minutes before my mother was even there to pick me up. I knew they would call the men in suits. I was just that much closer to being taken away from my mom to live with my dad.

When I got home, I went straight to my room and locked my-self in. My mother went straight into a phone call. I don't think she would have noticed if I had run out and gone to some secret hide out. Oh, I wish I had one of those. I spent the rest of that night hidden in my room wishing I had somewhere better to go, like a tree house only my friends could get to. I didn't have diner and I went to bed really early, as if I were being punished.

The next morning I woke up to a man at our door. I ran downstairs and opened the door, still dressed in my blue nightgown. He smiled at me and said, "You must be Rikki."

I nodded and pointed to the kitchen where my mom was on the phone again. She hung up the second the man walked in. He didn't look happy at the sight of the kitchen or the way I looked. I let the two adults talk while I made myself breakfast. I sat down at the table and watched the man talk to my mom, even though I couldn't hear what they were saying.

Then the man came into the kitchen and looked at me. He smiled a wide smiled that scared me. He looked like he was studying me as I ate. I smiled back as a nine-year-old girl should. Then I went back to my breakfast.

"Sweetie," He said softly as if he didn't want my mom to hear what he was saying. "Which of your parents do you think is better."

I just stared at him with no answer.


	6. Chapter 6

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 6**

Bella's Journal

Days went by slower, as I made my way through school without anyone finding out who I really was. Ian was a lot of help, staging my allergic to water act and helping me with a lot of the lying. The allergic to water act was of course his idea, and it was genies.

The day the plan was put into action, I told my parents I was getting in the bath. It had to be the bath, clean and, for the most part, pure water. I spent thirty minutes in the bath, as a mermaid. Then, without pulling the plug on the bath, I spent another thirty minutes do the make-up as Ian had taught me. I was to make myself look like I had red blotches all over my body. When the make-up was perfect, and water proof, I yelled. My mother ran in quickly.

"Mommy, I'm all red," I cried as if it was surprising. I could see Ian behind me, his fake worried face on.

"Oh, Isabella, what happened?" my mom asked looking me over.

"When I got out of the water, I was all red," I cried, making real tears come out of my eyes. Real tears!

"It could be an allergic reaction," Ian said from behind my mom, putting the idea in her mind as we had practiced.

"I'm going to take her to the doctor," mom said as Ian predicted. "Do you want to come, Ian?"

"Yes," Ian said way too quickly. Fortunately, mommy didn't noticed. She was so worried, as Ian predicted, that she didn't notice any of the ideas he was putting into her head.

The doctor's visit was short. The doctor saw me as soon as we got in, and diagnosed it as allergy to water quick. She gave me cream and other things to help with the make-up rash and explained to my mother that I should not come in contact with water at all.

Ian's plan worked better than ever. When we got home, my mom went crazy making sure the entire house was water proof. She said that not another drop of water would ever touch me again. Ian was too excited that his plan worked that he didn't notice how nuts mommy had gone.

Things at the house had gotten way more protective. I was barley aloud out of someone's sight. My mom won't let me go to school for a week, which I guess was fun. I had gone to work with my mom every Saturday and with dad every Sunday. After school, when I started again, mom did allow Ian and me to be alone in the room.

But even Ian kept me on a short lease, not as short as mom and dad, but still short. He was always with me and never let me out of his sight. He even walked me to and from class. Other kids were starting to stare. Now, not only was I the new weird girl, I was the girl who still had her big brother walk her to class. I was never going to make friends at this rate.

After a week of this, I was fed up. I was not going to take this from Ian any more. It was embarrassing enough to have to sit out during swimming and not go to the pool with everyone else. I was not going to be known as the girl who can't be without her brother either.

That day after school, I told Ian I was going to our room to do homework and that he did not have to check on me. We were lucky enough to have a first floor room. So as soon as I knew Ian was not going to come in and check on me anytime soon, I quietly opened the window and slipped out.

I made my way down to the beach. The place was empty, just as I thought it would be. It wasn't a very visited beach because of rocks and tide pools. No one really wanted to sit out on the beach if they are afraid of a crab crawling on them or something. I liked this beach. I could be alone and could sneak in and out of the ocean as I pleased.

I took a running start and made it past the surf just before I grew a tail. I swam as fast as I could, which was like faster than a dolphin, until I was really far off shore. Then I slowed down and started looking around. The place was beautiful, with different color coral, and fish and plants I'd never heard of. I hadn't noticed till I surfaced with a hand full of shells that I had been under water for over thirty minutes.

With all this new found freedom, after a while I didn't know where to go. So I decided to go where it all started, that cave I went to the day before I became a mermaid. The place was even more beautiful during the day. I could make the place mine, since no one could get there without a tail or a long climb down dangerous rocks. I arranged my new shells in a nice pattern and decorated the place just to my liking. It was better than my room, cause no one was going to come looking for me or yell at me.

That's when I remembered, Ian was going to soon be looking for me and my mom was going to be back any moment. I swam as fast as I could home. I snuck, just as quiet as I did when I left, back into my room and sat down on the bed only secants before Ian opened my door to check on me. He didn't know I was gone. I was in the clear.

"Mom said we are having dinner with the Flips down the hall," Ian said. "Get dressed in something nice."

I nodded as he closed the door. I sighed and started to get ready for dinner, my new escape in the back of my head.


	7. Chapter 7

**Before I Fall**

Chapter 7

Emma's Journal

Brittany wants to come to my house after practice. My house is not as cool as Brittany's. I'm afraid she won't like it because it doesn't have anything cool, like a playground or a big play room or a big doll house. But my mom said it was a great idea to have my friends come over to my house.

So after practice everyone came home with me and my mom. Brittany and the other girls were talking the whole way there. I was very quiet. That is, until we pulled up. Then I talked so much, I couldn't even remember every word I said. I was so nerves about them seeing my house.

The girls came in and set their bags down. I started by showing them the living room, kitchen, and the rest of downstairs. Then I showed them my room, Elliot's room, and my parents room. Last I showed them the backyard and the pool.

"You have a pool!" Penelope exclaimed.

I lead the girls outside to see the small pool we had in our backyard. It wasn't as great as Zane's and it only had one level, but the girls were very excited over it. And I was thrilled.

For the rest of the afternoon, we all swam in the pool and ate the cookies my mom made. I was relieved to know that they still liked me. I don't know what I would do in practice if they didn't like me.

After they left, my mom told me we were going to Zane's for dinner. This usually meant I was to get dressed in nice clothes, brush my hair and put it up and then help Elliot get in nice clothes. We always had to look nice when we saw Zane's family. Zane's father was my daddy's boss and he like when we looked nice. We went over to their house at least once a week and Zane played some prank on me every time.

Tonight I was dressed in my best dress and had on my new black buckle shoes, so new they still shined. My hair was in a braid down my back, something my mom did a lot. Elliot had on a shirt that matched my dress and he was also wearing black shoes. Mommy said it was cute that he want to match me. I wasn't quite sure, but I didn't complain.

When we got to the house, Zane's mom was not home. She was usually always home. My mom wouldn't tell me where she was, she always welcomed us and showed me and Elliot where Zane was. Tonight my mom just told us to go up to Zane's room and not to make a fuss. I did as she asked, taking Elliot by the hand.

Zane was on his bed, dressed in his usual button up white top and black pants. He didn't seem very happy, and didn't even notice Elliot and I had walked in until I spoke.

"What's wrong?" I asked, letting Elliot go.

"I don't know where my mom is," he answered. "She left yesterday night and never came back. Daddy won't tell me where she went."

"She'll come back," I said sitting next to him as Elliot sat himself at the car track.

"I don't think she is coming back," Zane said. "They were fighting yesterday and she said she was never coming back. Then she packed a bunch of bags and drove away."

"Maybe she was going on a business trip," I guessed. "My daddy goes on those a lot."

"So does mine," Zane admitted. "But never my mom. She never goes anywhere without my daddy for more than a day without tell me first."

There was a long silence. The only sound in the room was Elliot with the cars. He didn't understand what we were talking about anyway. I switched back and forth from watching Elliot to watching Zane. He seemed very sad.

Finally he said, "What if she never comes back? Emma, what would I do if she never comes back. I don't know what would happen to me and my dad if she never comes back."

"Kenneth from school have her daddy leave and never come back. I was at his house last week, he and his mom where fine," I told him, trying to cheer him up. "So that means you will be fine too."

"I don't know," Zane whispered. His gaze moved from me to Elliot. "You won't leave, will you? You won't leave ever, right?"

"Right?" I answered, sure I was never going to leave, ever. My parents told us a long time ago that we were never going to leave, ever. "I will never leave, ever."

"Good," Zane said, and that was the end of that.

For the rest of the night, Zane played with Elliot as I tried to entertain myself with the boy toys that were around the house. After a while, I gave in and played with Elliot and Zane. I couldn't even tell that Zane was upset about anything, he always knew how to hide his emotions. That was why I could never tell when he was really happy, or just faking it. But I could tell when he was really sad. I knew he was really sad about his mom. I didn't want him to be really sad about his mom.

After we left, my parents were really quiet. Elliot slept on the way home, and I could tell my parents wished I would just go to sleep so they could talk adult things. When we got home, I went right to my room as my dad carried Elliot to bed. I listened as my parents talked out in the hall way, they thought I was asleep. They said a lot of stuff I didn't understand. What I did understand was the stuff about how Zane's mom was not going to come back. She was really mad, and so was Zane's dad. They said something about something called a divorce, and something about how Zane was going to react to it. I didn't know what a divorce was but I knew it was not something Zane was going to like.


	8. Chapter 8

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 8**

Cleo's Journal

It had been another long, quiet day at school. One of the teachers talked to me and asked why I wouldn't play with some of the other kids. When I didn't answer she took me over to three girls playing with a jump rope. She asked the girls to let me play. The three girls let me in with open arms, as my mom would say, and I was twirling a rope as two girls jumped and the other sang a song I knew by heart. I did not sing.

After school, my mom and dad were home. They said they had a surprise for me. I was scared of what they were going to do next. We all got in the car, Kim included, and started for the mall. My parents wouldn't say where we were going, so I just had to guess with the scenery outside my window. It was somewhere in the mall, and my parents said it would be fun.

In the mall we passed many stores. Even though Kim asked a hundred times, my parent would not tell us where we were going, until we got there. It was the pet store, a big store right next to a store my mom loved. I had passed it many times before, but I never thought I would ever have a chance to go inside.

My parents took us to the back of the store, where there were many large fish tanks. They said Kim and I could each pick one that we could keep. Kim picked a normal looking gold fish very quickly. I, on the other hand, took a long look at each fish, swimming around in the tanks. I memorized the colors and movements of each fish in each tank. We had to have been there forever before I pointed to a small orange fish with white and black stripes that was in the back of a tank and said, "I want that one."

I watched as a woman took a net and put the fish in a bag. She took the fish to the counter and talked to my parents for a while. Then she gave them two small bowls, fish food, two backs of colorful rocks, and a net like the one she used. After all of that, she got down on her knees and handed me the bag. She gave me a creepy smile as she said, "You have to be nice to him, and feed him once a day. Can you do that?"

I nodded, taking the bag in my hands. I watch the small fish swim around in a circle. My mom took Kim's fish bag and her hand and started walking out of the store. My dad got behind me and started to lead me out.

As we walked, my dad looked down at me and I looked up at him. I could tell he was checking out the fish. When he noticed I had caught him, he said, "What are you going to name him."

"I don't know yet," I answered, still watching him swim around in his circle.

"I'm naming my fish Angel," Kim said in her happy little kid way.

"Angel, that a cute name," my mom said with a laugh.

After that, I stopped listening to them. I didn't want to listen to my sister say silly little kid things or my parents act as if she was just the cutest thing ever. I kept my eyes on my fish. He looked happy in his little bag, as if I saved him from some life he didn't want. Then he looked at me, he really looked at me, and I saw him smile. So I smiled, such a big smile that my parents stopped right there in the parking lot and looked at me.

"I know what I want to name my fish," I said. "Smiley."

"Smiley," My dad repeated. "That is a cute name."

"I like it," My mom said smiling as we finished walking the rest of the way to the car.

When we got home, my dad helped me set up the bowl in my room right next to my bed. He put Smiley in and showed me how to feed him. He explained that Smiley was a salt water fish, and could only swim in salt water. He told me that Smiley had to stay in his bowl and that he probably was not going to do more than swim in a circle. Then he left me alone with Smiley.

I watched for a long time as Smiley swam around in his bowl. I think he was checking out my room, his new view. After like a hundred circles, he stopped right in front of me. He looked up at me and I looked down at me.

Then I just said, "Hi." He blew bubbles in response. I laughed.

I don't know why I did what I said after that. Maybe I just needed it to be said, and I knew Smiley wasn't going to tell anyone. So I told him everything. I told him what I thought, how I felt, everything that had happened to me since the morning of the field trip. He just sat there and looked at me. I could tell he was listening to me. I believe he understood every word I told him. I didn't stop talking until my mom called me down for dinner.

That night, when I should've been asleep, I sat up listening to what my mom and dad were saying outside my door.

"She was talking to him, really talking to him," My mom said as if that was a good thing.

"That's what we wanted, right?" My dad asked. "That's what this was about, right?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think she would open up that quickly," My mom said. "She was actually happy today. You did see her smiling."

"I did, but I think you are getting your hopes up," my dad said. "This is just one small step. Who knows how long it will take before she has another brake through like that."

"Let's just enjoy what happened today," My mom said before opening my door. I quickly closed my eyes. "Look at her."

After the door was closed they walked away, I could hear anymore. I closed my eyes for real and faded away into sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 9**

Rikki's Journal

I looked in the large mirror at a girl with pretty blond hair pulled into two braids, blue eyes that show all emotion, and a face that shows the sadness and fear she was feeling. I take a look at the long blue dress I was put in, one with ribbon and sparkles and fringe. My eyes find the floor and my fancy black shoes without even a scratch. I could even hear the noise they made as I walked around the room.

I don't remember much between this moment and the day I was asked who I wanted to live with. I remember that moment well. I didn't say anything, and I haven't said anything since. I was taken out of school for a week and every day I have been brought down here in another new dress my mom got for me. I am sat in a room with an old woman who can't stay awake for more than 10 minutes. Every now and then a guy in a suit will come in and ask again which parent I wanted to live with. I still don't answer, and after a while, they always leave me alone.

Finally after many days of being alone in the room, a man comes for me. He takes me down a long hall with many large double doors and benches that held all from handcuffed people to other kids in nice clothes to people in suits. He lead me into one of the large double doors.

Inside the room many people sat in an audience like section. They all looked back at me as the man lead me to the front of room. He opened a gate and lead me through. On one side of the room sat my father and a man I didn't know, on the other side my mother and a man I had only seen a few times. But the man didn't stop in front of either of them. He took me all the way to the front and sat me down next to this man in a white wig.

Then man then started to pass in front of me, looking up at me every five seconds. Then he said in a soft voice, "Rikki, we need you to answer one question for us, can you do that."

I nodded, keeping my eyes on the man. I didn't want to look at either of my parents.

"Sweetie," he said. "Which one of your parents do you want to live with?"

That's when I took a look from my mom to my dad. With my mom I saw all the phone calls, the lack of food, but a big house and the thought of not having to move. With my dad, I saw food, attention, love, but a small house, moving away, new school, new friends, new life. I couldn't answer. I didn't want to lose either of them. But everyone was staring at me. The silence was starting to kill me. I could feel myself about to cry. I didn't know what to say, so I said what I usually said when I was about to cry, "Daddy."

The whole room erupted. People were cheering, people were yelling, it all made me want to hide. The man with the wig started hitting a wooden hammer against his desk and yelling quiet. The men with my parents started to ague. Then man who brought me in was smiling with a strange delight. I didn't know what to do, or what I had done.

Finally after a long period of loudness, everyone quieted down. The man in the wig announced that I would live with my father and that my mother could not see me again. Then he hit his hammer down and people started moving around. I was taken from the stand and lead over to where my father was standing.

When I was in reach, my dad picked me up and kissed me on my cheek. Then he held me tight, like he did when I was sad. I looked over his shoulder to see my mom walking out of the room behind the man who was with her.

There was a lot of photos, people talking to my dad, trying to talk to me, people that wouldn't leave us alone. Men guided me and my dad to a car. The car took us to my old house where me and my mom lived.

My dad helped me pack all my stuff up in bags and boxes. My mom was not there while we were. But I saw her car pulling in as my dad's was pulling away. Behind her car was a truck, a moving truck.

That night my dad and I stayed in a hotel near the airport. He kept telling me of how great the house we were going to live in was, how nice the neighborhood was, how nice the school was. I knew he wasn't me to be happy, but I didn't know how to feel.

Maybe he is right. What if this will be better? What if I am happier with my dad? I know I'll be loved more, treated better, payed attention to more. I knew I would be happier with my dad, and with my mom moving as well, I'm starting to think I made the better decision.

I slept ok. I held on to my dad the whole night. My tears from that morning were gone and my sadness and fear was taken away in my sleep. My dreams were sweet, nice, just what I needed. I just wished I never had to wake up. I wish I could stay asleep forever and never wake up again. In my dreams, I could believe in anything, anything could happen. In the real world, I don't know what was going to happen. Only a few things were for sure. 1. I was never going to see my mom again. 2. I was leaving South Africa forever. 3. I would never be the same as I was before this happened.


	10. Chapter 10

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 10**

Bella's Journal

I never liked school. Even before I got these "powers," people never liked the new girl. And I was always the new girl. We never stayed in one place long enough for me to ever go to the same school for more than a year. I never really got to know anyone. I never had friends for too long. I had never had a best friend.

But this year was the worst. Because of the water thing, I was named a freak. People considered me a mysterious girl, and never got near me, as just being around me would make them weird. I sat alone at lunch and played alone at reuses. No one ever talked to me, even if they were asked to.

Then came the day to start swimming in gym. They put us in groups, the really good swimmers, the ok swimmers, the non-swimmers, and those who won't be swimmer. I was of course in the last one with a boy who broke his leg two week before hand. We were to sit on the bleachers that over looked the really good swimmers, who like to show off all their skills to those who couldn't do what they did.

Now in every school, there was that one girl who was mean just for the fun of watching other girls cry. In my school, that girl was Ellie Mason. Ellie was, of course, in the really good swimmers group. She wore a swim suit that seemed new while everyone else had swim suits that looked very worn. She always had new clothes and shinny shoes, and long pencils and new crowns, and a new back pack every two months. She had two friends who followed every word she said. They were never more than two inches from her side, ever.

Ellie was in line, first, and was looking right up at me when she should've been listening to the teacher give instructions. She was smiling as if something funny had just happened, but only she saw it. Then she leaned over to one of her two friends and whispered something. She laughed and started whispering to other kids.

By the time the teacher told Ellie to jump in, every kid in line was laughing and looking at me. Ellie was smiling like she had won an award for her meanness. The teacher was looking right at her as she ask a quiet girl named Hilary what everyone was laughing at.

"Ellie said that Bella didn't swim because her skin will fall off," Hilary said making all the kids in the group, and the neighboring group burst out laughing.

I could feel the tears falling down my cheek as the kids laughed and pointed at me. The only person not laughing was Cameron, the boy with the broken leg. Two of the four teachers were trying to calm the groups while one took Ellie to the principal and the last was taking me to the guidance counselor.

I spent the rest of the day with the guidance counselor as he talked to me. Eventually, he let Ian come in and talk to me. Ian's words made me stop crying just before we had to get on the bus. When I got home, my mom was there because the school had called her. She too talked to me for a long time. After a while, I forgot all the words anyone ever said to me.

Still I could see Ellie's smile in the back of my mind. Her laughter made my skin crawl. I could just feel the tears welling up every time I thought about it.

Finally, I decided to swim off. I didn't know any other way to hide the tear that were falling fast off my cheek. In the water, I made a bee line for the cave. There I played with the shells, reminding myself of the real reason I couldn't swim, noticing it is not that far from the lie. The tears return and I go under water to wash them away.

While I was underwater, my eye caught something shinny at the bottom of the pool. I swam down and picked it up, washing off the dirt as I made my way up to the surface. Once above the water, I examined the shinny object. It was a blue stone and it was very shinny for being hidden under the water in sand for who knows how long.

I was very interested in what it was. So I swam home as soon as I could. At home I found myself alone with Ian, who was working on homework. I came slowly out of my room, giving him a sweet smile as I asked, "Ian, if you are not using the computer can I. I want to play the teddy bear game."

"Sure, it's right there," Ian said pointing to the computer.

I smiled as if I was not up to anything as I picked up the computer and went back into my room. I sat down on my bed and opened up the top. I went to the internet and went to the search site we learned about in school. I typed in, as best as I could spell, blue shinny stone.

I spent all night looking at site after site trying to find a picture that matched the stone I had. Eventually I gave up and gave the computer back to Ian. After that I spent the rest of the night tying a string around my new stone so I could wear it as a necklace.

The next day at school, I took my spot next to Cameron on the bleachers as Ellie's friends made their way to the pool. Ellie had been suspended for bullying me, and they were not happy about it. While the teachers were not looking they came up the bleachers to me and Carmon.

"Oh, you got a new necklace," Vicky said with a smile.

"Ellie would love to see this," Ramona said ripping my stone from my neck.

I could feel the tears start to well up as I watched Ramona play with my stone. She smiled, tossing it in her hand.

"Maybe I was wrong," She said walking from the belchers towards the fence that kept the pool away from the harbor where the boats were. She then through the necklace over the fence, over the side walk and into the harbor.

Cameron looked astonished as Ramona and Vicky went back to the line at the pool. I put my head down in my hands, about to cry and not wanting Cameron to see.

"Don't worry," I heard Cameron say. "Meet me after school."

I nodded, not letting him see my face.

After school, before I got on the bus to go home, I found Cameron waiting for me, alone. He was smiling like he did something great. I sighed as I walked over to him.

"What did you want to meet about?" I asked in a sorrow tone.

He held out his hand. In it was my stone, as beautiful and shinny as I remembered it. My face just lit up as I took it from his hand and put it on.

"How did you get this?" I asked him.

"Let's just say, I have my ways," He said as he hobbled off to his bus.

I just watched him go until I had to get on my bus.


	11. Chapter 11

**Before I Fall**

_A/N: Since Cleo and Emma do know each other, the next two chapters, and others, will just be the same event just in each girls point of view. Hope you like. _

**Chapter 11**

Emma's Journal

"We're going to have dinner at Cleo's tonight," my mom announced that afternoon while she was driving me home from practice. "Won't that be fun. You haven't seen her since the accident."

Cleo, she was a nice, over protected, daddy's girl. A month ago she went on a field trip by boat and the boat her class was on sunk. Everyone died except her and she had been scared ever since. My mom told me she wouldn't speak to anyone and play alone mostly. She wouldn't even get near the water, not even a pool.

I never really played with Cleo unless we went to her house for dinner, which wasn't as often as we went to Zane's. Since we went to different schools and lived on different streets, there was no other way to see each other.

Cleo's house was not big, there was no pool, no big play set, not even that big of a back yard. The whole play always smelled of dead fish, or was that just her dad. Her room was big, but she had few cool toys, and the only cool thing about it was the painting of a beach over one whole wall, including her door.

When we got there, we were greeted by Kim, Cleo's little sister who got everything she wanted with a smile. Her mother was in the kitchen cooking dinner, which was most likely fish. Her father was with her mother, smiling like an idiot telling a story I didn't understand, but must have been funny. Cleo was on the stairs, as if hiding from human contact. She had her long really curly brunette hair pulled back into two pony tails. She wore a pink top with a picture of a star on it and a short white skirt. She was staring right at me and not smiling.

"Cleo, sweetie, come down here," Her mother called when she saw us.

Cleo peered her head out from around the corner. Her eyes locked on her mother's. Her mother was also smiling like an idiot. Whatever made Cleo's family so happy all the time, was definitely not treating Cleo in the same fashion. Her expressionless look made her seem like some alien next to her over peppy family. I had never seen her so down.

Usually a night at Cleo's was always some big party. Everyone was happy and laughing, like nothing bad ever happened in the world. They could turn the saddest person into the happiest just by being with them. I usually loved having dinner over here, even if Cleo and I were not that close. But that night was not like a usual night.

When we sat down for dinner, the parents went into talking about adult things at the adult table. Cleo sat across from me next to Kim. Elliot sat next to me. During dinner, Cleo kept her head down, like she didn't want to look at anyone. Elliot and Kim were unfazed by Cleo, acting crazy and make a mess as if it were any other night.

I didn't know what to say. I was never really good at that whole cheering-people-up thing. I was usually the one needing the cheering up, the one who was lost looking for someone to hold onto. I guess that is why I liked Brittany and my other swim team friends. That's also why I don't thing Cleo and I were that close.

After diner, we were set free to do what we please upstairs while the parents talked. Kim rushed Elliot up stairs, all excited about some sort of thing only kindergarteners got excited about. I followed Cleo as she quickly made a dash for her room.

Cleo's room had not changed much since I was last in it. The picture of her and Kate sat right in its place next to a picture of her and Kim. Her stuffed animals were still in a strange unorganized pile on a chair in the corner of her room. A toy box that had dolphins and mermaids painted all over it as if they were under water sat next to the door that lead to the bath room, which was cover in beads. The only new thing was a fish bowl that was set up on a small table next to her window.

"What's that?" I asked pointing to the bowl she was all over.

"This is Smiley," She answered too quickly for Cleo.

"You got a fish?" I asked, confused because I thought Cleo hated everything that had to do with swimming and water.

"Yes," She said, angrily. Her tone completely caught me off guard.

I just smiled, sitting down on her bed. I picked up the doll she had lying next to her bed and started combing through its long red hair with my fingers. And that is how the rest of the night went. There was no communication and no interaction.

When I left, she didn't even go down stairs to say good-bye. I could tell she was happy for me to go. I was happy to be leaving as well. If she didn't want a friend then I wasn't going to be one.

That night I told my mom how Cleo acted. She then went to tell me about the accident I had heard about a million times. The boat crashed, she was the only one who survived and no one knows why, she lost all her friends including her best friend Kate. But if that were me, I would want to talk about, not keep it to myself. I never understood her, even before this.

After she finished her explanation, she kissed me on the forehead, turned out the lights and left. But I did not go to sleep. I stunk to the window and pulled the blinds up. There in the sky was the moon, crescent shaped but still beautiful. I closed my eyes and made a wish on the fish star I saw. I wished that Cleo would go back to how she use to be, happy and fun.


	12. Chapter 12

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 12**

Cleo's Journal

Emma Gilbert was coming over for dinner that night. I just knew it was some way my parents were working to get out. They wanted me to talk about what happened, but I didn't want to. I didn't see the point in all of this. I wished they would just stop.

That day at school, I did not pay much attention to my teacher. My mind was too set on Emma coming over that night. I did my work as I always did, but when someone tried to talk to me, all they got was silence, which I don't think Merriam liked very much. The boy found it funny, and I got to watch them laugh at my silence and Merriam's pain and annoyance. That was all just a pulse.

When I got home, Bobby let me stay in my room with no interruptions. I spent the most of the afternoon telling Smiley all about Emma. I told him about how she was always supper clean, very smart, and extremely organized. She was always talking about something new all her friends were into, whether a sport, game, toy, T.V. program, movie. I was never as into what she was saying, ever.

I didn't spend as much time as I usually did getting ready that night. Emma was always dressed as if going to some fancy restaurant when she came over. She went to a prep school, so I'm not even sure if she had play clothes. Usually I spend all day finding some sort of outfit that will match her standards. But that night I just put on a pink top with a star on it and one of my many white skits.

I never really played with Emma unless she came here. I had only been to her house a number of time for her birthday. And I had never even been up to her room. If I knew Emma it would always be clean. I was use to be excited when Emma came over, but not that night. I just wanted to be left with Smiley.

Around six, I heard the door bell ring. Then I heard the unmistakable sound of Kim's feet running towards the door. I slid down the stairs to where I could see them but they couldn't see me, or so I thought. But Emma's eyes caught me right away. I didn't move. I did not smile.

"Cleo, Sweetie, come down here," My mom called in her loving tone.

I peeked out from around the corner. I looked straight at my mom. She was smiling like she knew something I didn't.

We quickly sat down for dinner, skipping the part where us kids played while the grown-ups talked about us, work, and other grown-ups. I was glad. That just meant less time alone with Emma, being forced to play or talk.

I kept my head lowered so I wouldn't have to look anyone in the eye. I made sure I always had something in my mouth and that I made no question me enough for them to talk or ask questions out loud. Questions I wasn't going to answer anyway.

Kim and Elliot were acting crazy and annoying like it was any other night. Sometimes I wondered if they even understood what was going on. Even in the tensest of situations, they were still laughing and having fun. Sometimes I wished I was still that young, too young to understand the pain of the world. I think that is another thing I lost in the accident, my youth and naïveness.

Once dinner was over, the parents told us to go up-stairs. Kim and Elliot run as fast as they could up to Kim's room for reasons I did not understand. I started for my room as well. Emma followed close behind me. I wished she wouldn't.

In my room, I went straight to Smiley's bowl. Emma stood in the doorway, as if examining my room, deciding whether it was safe to come in or not. She looked around, taking note of everything. I found this odd, since my room had not changed much since the last time she had been in it.

"What's that?" She asked in a curious but disgusted tone.

"This is Smiley," I answered, quick and defensive.

"You got a fish?" She asked. She sounded confused, as if it was completely out of the question with me.

"Yes," I said with a bit of anger in my tone. I didn't like some of Emma's questions. I felt as if I was being accused of something I didn't do.

After that, Emma just smiled and sat down on my bed. She picked up one of my dolls and started brushing through its hair with her fingers. I didn't care, as long as our conversations had stopped, I would let her play with anything in my room, even the more important things, like my mermaid dolls.

The rest of the evening went like that. Emma stayed on my bed with the doll and I stayed with Smiley. I knew if my mom or dad came in, they would not be happy with what I was doing, but I didn't care.

Eventually Emma was called to leave. Usually I followed her down stairs and showed her out. But that night I just watched as she walked out of my room, closing the door behind her. I knew she would tell her parents how I acted. They would tell my parents, who would do some other kind of test or experiment or whatever they were calling these things.

I stayed in my room until my parents came in to say good night. After that I waited what felt like another four hours, but by looking at the clock right outside my door I found out it was only two, before my parents came up to check on me. They were talking and I listened closely.

"I really don't know what else we can do," My mom whispered to my dad with a crack in my door.

"I just think we should give a few more weeks," my dad said.

"Two more weeks," my mom said. "But if nothing happens, we call her."

"Deal," my dad said as they left my room.

I sat in the dark, almost alone, for a long time before I fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 13**

Rikki's Journal

The first time I saw Australia, it was from the air. After hours of flying over nothing but ocean, the sight of land was reassuring. Many building jet up from the ground, but from here it all just looked like a big play town some kid would have in their room. It was much more intrusting to watch than blue with spits of white.

Of course this wasn't my first time in a plane. I had been many places throughout Africa for my mom's work. But this was the first time I had flown over the ocean for more than five minutes. As different as that might sound, it's not.

Actually, it was the first time I had been out of Africa at all. My whole life I had lived in the same house in South Africa with very little change. Now we were going to where my dad grew up. He said he had bought a house on the very street he had lived at my age. He told me he had moved to Africa after his parents died, which is where he met my mom.

Unlike me and my mom, my dad was no stranger to moving. On that long plane trip, my dad told me of every house he and his sisters, whom I had never met, lived in. He had been moved around a lot for a job his dad had. He lived in a lot of cities next to the ocean in Australia, and the United States. He had even lived in Fiji for a while.

When we landed in Australia, there was a lot of signing papers, standing in lines, metal detectors, and bag screening that we had to go through before we could get our bags and car. It was obvious my dad had done this many times before, because we got through faster than some of the other families I saw.

The drive to the house was not long. The house was close to the city, walking distance from the school I was going to. It was not big. When we walked in we were in the den. There was a small kitchen, living room, dining room, and downstairs bed room all set up in a circle like shape with in a square house. There were two bedrooms upstairs, one of which was mine and a smallish cellar like basement. My dad had gotten all new furniture for the whole house and my room.

"What do you think, princess?" my dad asked after we had seen the whole house.

"It's nice," I answered not sure what else to say.

"We can do your room however you want," My dad said with a smile.

I smiled too. I could tell he was trying to make this easy, it just wasn't working.

The night past slowly, with my slipping in and out of sleep. My room had a window facing the road. Even with my dad right across the hall, I felt so alone. The noises of the city were annoying and the light from the street post was bright enough to make some animal think it was morning.

The next morning was the first day of school. I had never switched schools ever. I had never been the new girl, even if I was always out of place. I didn't know what to expect. I guess I was hoping for a room full of kids eager to get to know me and were nice. But that was far from the reaction I got.

All the eyes staring at me as if I was some alien, no smiles. I didn't know what to say when the teacher told me to tell the class a little about myself. I just stood up there looking like an idiot for two minutes before the teacher finally asked me where I was from.

"South Africa," I answered so quietly I was afraid she couldn't hear me.

"Wow," The teacher said as if I had just told her I come from the moon. "That is really far away. Can someone come point to where that is on the map?"

She pulled down a large map of the world as a bunch of kids raised their hands. I just stood still in the front of the class wishing the teacher would let me sit down. She pointed to a girl with long red hair in the back. The girl skipped to the front as if a fairy trying to fly. Using a freshly painted pink nail, she pointed to the exact location of South Africa. Then when the teacher said she was right, she giggled like a fairy and skipped back to her seat in the back.

Finally the teacher told me to take a seat in the middle of the class room. I sat between a girl named Else and a boy named Wes. Apparently a girl named Quinn sat here, but she moved not too long ago. Else would not let me sit down unless I knew that. She acted as if I was stealing the seat from Quinn.

The day went by slow. There were lessons I already knew, a quiet lunch, a lonely reassess, then more lessons I already knew. This is not how I had seen it on TV. There were no nice kids who said hello, no really popular girl who just wants me in her group to add to her popularity. In fact the only person who talked to me was Else, and she was not very nice.

When my dad picked me up that afternoon, he asked all about school. I told him it was fine. When he asked about the other kids, I just said they were fine. We walked the rest of the way home in silence. When we got home, my dad went straight into telling me all about his job and how he will always have time for me. I just smiled as he went on and on. Truly I really could care less. But he was my dad, so I listened on as we made diner and started to settle in for another long night before another long day at school.


	14. Chapter 14

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 14**

Bella's Journal

I never understood what my mom loved about the full moon. What's so cool about being able to see the whole moon in the sky? I didn't understand, but obviously my mom did. Whenever I asked Ian about it, all he said was you'll understand when you are older. Yeah I get that answer for a lot of questions.

That afternoon after school, my mom was going on about some project that involved the full moon that night. She was using big words and a lot of math that I did not understand, but I think Ian was. He was a geniuses and understood everything our mom said. I just spent that time pretending I was listening while I did my English homework.

At about five, my mom started to go over what Ian was to do if we got in trouble, what was for diner and what not to do while she was out and dad was at his business party. At this Ian just nodded his head and pretended to listen. Ian and I had been left before while daddy was downstairs doing something with whatever hotel he was working at. Finally, at five thirty, she kissed both me and Ian, told us to go to bed at nine thirty and left. Then we were alone.

The night started out like every other night Ina and I were left alone. First Ian checked my homework. When he was sure that was right, he turned on Disney and got both of us a small bowl of ice cream. We watched that for a while, before Ian put whatever mommy told him to put in for diner. After we had diner, Ian started watching a movie with a lot of fighting and I took the laptop back into my room to play the teddy bear game.

For the next part of this story, I am just repeating what Ian said. As far as I know, I was in my room one minute playing the teddy bear game and the next I was asleep on the couch getting woken up by daddy. Ian told my parents I had fallen asleep there and no one wanted to disturbed me. But this is what Ian told me really happened.

After hours of not hearing from me, which is odd of you knew me, Ian came into my room to find that I was nowhere in sight and the window was wide open. Since this was the first time Ian had lost me while we were alone, he panicked. I'm not the kind to run off, so he thought.

Again, since this was the first time Ian had lost me while we were alone, he did not want to tell our parents. Instead, he made his way out the window, trying to find me. He really didn't know what he was getting himself into.

He started by looking around the beach, thinking that I went down there to get away. That was actually a smart move. But after searching the whole beach, it wasn't that big, he still couldn't find me. So he decided to take a big leap and started for the rocks I had played around the day I became a mermaid. He said he almost broke his leg falling down those rocks, but eventually he found the pool, and me in it.

"Bella?" He asked, as if he wasn't sure it was me he was looking at. "Bella, are you ok?"

He described me as creepy. I was in the pool that changed me into a mermaid, looking up at the moon in a mesmerized fashion. Then, when I heard my name, I stared at him, as if I was going to kill him, or worse, if there is a worse.

"Isabella, I'm warning you, I will tell mom you left the room without my knowledge if you don't get out of there right now," He warned with a stern voice.

I did not listen. Instead I disappeared under the water. Then when he reached for the water, I turned the whole place to jelly and swam off. Ian said he had never seen me act in this fashion, and from his description, it didn't sound like me at all.

After he had freed his hand from the jelly, which was not that bad, it was just jelly, he started back for the beach. He found me right away, staring out over the water at the moon. He walked slowly over to me, but when I heard him approaching, I looked directly at him.

"Bella, this is not like you," He said stopping in his tracks. "What's going on?"

I just stared at him for a long time before looking back to the water. That's when an idea hit him. Slowly, he moved in close enough to grab me. Once he had me, he dragged me kicking and screaming back to the hotel and in through the window. That is where he got me to lie down on the couch. Eventually, after a lot of talking to, I fell asleep, not two minutes when dad walked in.

The next morning I awoke on the couch with no memory of what happened. My dad gave Ian and I breakfast before leaving for work. Mom had left early and wouldn't be back for a few hours. In that time, Ian and I were alone long enough to discuss what happened the night before.

"So you really don't remember it?" He asked for the third time.

"I don't remember any of it," I answered again.

"I don't know what happened," Ian said. "Nothing like this has happened before. You were not yourself."

"So you said," I said looking him in the eyes.

"I don't know what happened, but I think it had something to do with the night," Ian said looking out the window. "I'm keeping my eyes on you at night from now on."

I smiled, knowing I was not getting out of this one. Then I sighed. It was going to be more of a challenging life then I thought it would be.


	15. Chapter 15

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 15**

Emma's journal

"Class, today is our class spelling bee," The teacher announced that morning in school.

I looked up from the note Brittany had just passed me. The spelling bee was just a way of let the smart kids show off and the dumb kids get humiliated in front of all their friends. Only two can move on to the school wide spelling bee and only two from there can move on to the city wide. It's a great honor to all those smart kids who aren't going to get any awards for sports.

The class is lined up in two lines, one for boys and one for girls. I stand in the back with Brittany and Marta. Across from me, Zane is messing with a piece of paper, folding it in odd ways. I can here girls giggling and boys worrying about being first out. I take a deep breath as the teacher calls out the first word to a quiet girl who sits in the front.

"Pineapple," The teacher says slowly, and mentally start to spell it myself.

"This is so dumb," Brittany say from behind me. "I'm getting out as soon as someone gets out before me. You should too.

I look forward. I wasn't planning on messing up on purpose. I actually was a good speller. I might have made it to the school wide where I would be beaten by a year five student. Brittany's suggestion was beating in my mind. What if I just throw it? What would happen? I would sit down with the others who got a word wrong. I would never hear about the spelling bee again. I wouldn't be able to see how far I could've gone. I would have it hanging over my head for as long as I could remember it.

There is a tap on my shoulder, bring me back into reality. The girl in front of me just spelled Kindergartener wrong and is taking a seat with a boy who got out before her. One more and I will have to make up my mind.

"Emma," The teacher called. I looked up. "Your word is Neighbor."

I took a deep breath, thinking about each option in my head. But I could take too long, for the teacher and all the students were staring right at me. I started to spell slowly, "N. E. I. G. H." What was I doing? I should be listening to Brittany, but I wasn't. "B. O. R… Neighbor."

"That's correct," The teacher said before looking to the boy standing next to me.

Brittany was staring daggers at me. I had messed up big time. I was going to get it from her. I looked away from her and Marta up at the front of the class room.

It doesn't take long to get back to me. Brittany and Marta got out on their first words just as Brittany said she was going to do. The only people still up with me were, two girls who get all A's, a boy who I think is just still up because he got lucky, Zane and me. It was Zane's turn.

"Your word, Mr. Bennett, is Independence," The teacher said slowly.

"I. N. D. E. P. E. N. D. E. N. C. E," Zane said as if he knew it all. I was sure he was cheating somehow, but I didn't feel it was that necessary.

It was my turn. I took a deep breath, ready to hear my word. But instead of saying my name she said, "Time to line up for lunch. We will continue when we get back."

Everyone rushed to line up at the door, all wanting to be first. I went slow, hoping Brittany and Marta were more interested in getting lunch first then talking to me about what I did. They were not and I found them behind me in line.

"What was that?" Brittany asked with a stern voice, her arms crossed over her chest. Marta copied her to the last detail.

"I didn't mess up," I said softly. "I might actually have a chance."

Hearing this, Brittany's eyes lit up as she said, "Yes, you do. Your smart, I like that." She looked to Marta, keeping the same smile on her face as she said, "We need a smart girl in our group, don't you think?"

"Yeah, it makes us all seem smart just for being with a smart person," Marta said copying even Brittany's creepy smile. I smiled too, why shouldn't I? At that moment we reached the drink cooler and turned our attention on ordering our food and getting to our table, which was right across from Penelope and Ginger. Brittany leaned over to their table and whispered something I couldn't hear. She pulled back just before one of the attendants caught her. Lunch was quiet and uneventful after that.

When we got back to the class room, we went right back into the Spelling bee form. It was my turn to spell a word. Before she sat down, Brittany whispered to me, "Don't blow this."

I took a deep breath looking to the teacher. She was looking right at me and smiling. I felt sick. If I blew this, I was in deep trouble.

"Your word is Emergency," the teacher said slowly.

"Emergency," I repeated. "E. M. E. R. G. E. N. C? Y." I look right into her eyes, trying to figure out if it was right or not. She didn't speak. It was silent.

"That's correct," She finally said. I heard clapping coming from behind me. I knew it was Brittany and Marta.

The others were questioned, knocking out the boy with the luck and one of the straight A's girls. It was Zane's turn again. He had this smile on that just said, "I'm Cheating." I could tell how he was, I just knew it.

"Your word is Liberty," The teacher said.

"L.I.B.E.R.T.Y," Zane said without hesitation.

"That's correct," the teacher said looking to me. I looked to Zane and his silly smile.

"Your word is Brilliant," The teacher said.

I took a deep breath, "Brilliant, B.R.I.L.L?I.A.N.T." I said holding my breath and closing my eyes.

"That's correct," The teacher said, more clapping. I smiled.

On the next word both the girl with the straight A's and Zane got out, apparently it wasn't on his cheat sheet. He was still going to the school wide, but I think he wanted to beat me. It was all up to this one word, if I got it, I would win. If I didn't, Zane would win by default.

"Your word is Difficult," the teacher said slowly.

"Difficult," I repeated taking a deep breath. "D.I.F.F.I.C.U.L.T. Difficult."

"That's correct," The teacher said. Everyone went crazy as I let my breath out and smiled back a Brittany and Marta. They were both smiling.


	16. Chapter 16

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 16**

Cleo's Journal

The was shining over the Grade School playground as children between the ages of 8 and 9 ran around not paying a whole lot of attention to the heat of the air or the pavement their feet were touching. I on the other hand, was paying a lot of attention to the heat of the air and the pavement I had my hands firmly pressed ageist as I sat just hidden by a game of four from the teachers stand not too far away. My eyes locked on the red rubber ball bouncing between the three girls and the one boy as they tossed it through the air to one another, laughing as they did so.

My mind wondered, though to the conversations my parents were having outside of my room late at night when they thought I was no longer listening. They spoke of calling some woman, and of me not being the same as I was before the accident. They wanted me to change. They wanted me to be the same girl I was with Kate. But they didn't understand. I was no longer that girl and I was not going to be friends with the annoying or self absorbed kids they wanted me to be friends with.

As I thought, I stopped paying attention to the bouncing red ball. The next thing I knew I was lying on the ground, blood rushing from my nose, with about eight girls and two boys looking down at me. A girl with orange pigtails was pulling two teachers my way. One was talking on a walkie talkie, most likely to a nurse in the clinic or the principle.

"Cleo, are you alright, sweetheart?" the other teacher asked getting down to my level and holding my head up.

I nodded, slowly, drawing my hand up to my nose, feeling the blood. Three girls ran off when they saw the blood. Two backed up, but stayed nearby, and I could have sworn I heard one of the boys say, "cool."

"Oh, Lewis," The teacher called after taking a look at my nose. "I am going to need you to take Cleo here to the clinic. Can you do that for me."

The boy with the blond hair that sat across from me in class and lunch nodded as the teacher lifted me to my feet and put my hand into his. He was standing really close to me. His blue eyes glowed as he looked into mine, a smile on his face like he found pleaser in taking injured to the clinic during reassess.

The teacher who was helping me let us in the grade one hallway door, the one closet to the clinic at the front of the school. As soon as the door was completely shut behind us, Lewis looked at me and said, "I guess this is my honor."

"What?" I asked, not understanding what he meant when he said that.

"Well, I just funny that I am now taking the girl who took me to the clinic from a broken arm to the clinic for a bloody nose," He explained as we turned into the main hall and started for the Cafeteria where a bunch of grade five students were just starting their lunch period.

"Oh, that was you," I said, just now remembering the little blond boy I had walked to the clinic in grade one. He had stupidly took a dare from another boy, who I believe had moved, to jump from the top of the play set. I took him to the clinic and we learned later, while sitting in the clinic, that Kate had beat the boy up not seconds after we had left.

Just that small memory of Kate brought tears to my eyes. I thought Lewis had not noticed but he did, and asked, "Oh, does your nose hurt."

"Yes," I answered, because it did. "But that is not why I am crying." Lewis looked a little confused, so I said, "You reminded me of Kate."

"Right, she beat up Kenny," Lewis blurted, before remembering what happen to Kate. "Oh, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," I said, knowing it was a lie.

We walked in silence through the cafeteria after that. Lewis still had his hand in mine, which I know any other girl in any other situation would have let go the second the door was closed behind them, but at this moment, I think it was the only thing keeping me steady. I felt a little woozy, and I didn't think it was from my nose.

We reached the clinic and the nurse took me right in and sat me down on one of the blue plastic beds that were set up in the clinic. She started putting napkins on my nose, telling me hold them their tight. I watched as Lewis took a seat in a purple plastic chair next to the door. The nurse did not give him a second look. I remember when that was me, watching as a nurse did stuff to his arm, then stuff to the wounds on Kenny. I knew he could leave. He knew he could leave, but he stayed. I like that.

After my nose had stopped bleeding, the nurse handed me some extra napkins and sent Lewis and me back to our class. On our walk back, I looked to Lewis and asked, "Why did you stay?"

"I wanted to know if you were ok," He answered. There was a pause, then he asked, "Are you?"

I laughed, "Yeah, I'm fine." I said knowing he really wasn't talking about my nose anymore. For some reason, I knew he was wondering about Kate, about the accident, about how I was really doing. And somehow, I knew the answer, "I fine." Was finally true. He knew it too, because he smiled and said, "Good, I don't want my best friend to be hurt."

"Best Friend?" I asked, wondering why he would really want to be friends with me.

"Yeah, I can be your best friend? It's the least I can do for throwing a ball into your face," He said with a worried look on his face.

"Oh, that was you," I said with a smile, almost a laugh. "Yeah, I guess it is the least you could do."

And that was how it happened. That is how Lewis McCartney became my best friend from then on into forever. And I didn't even care if he was a boy, because he was the only boy who didn't have cooties.


	17. Chapter 17

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 17**

Rikki's Journal

Ok, so settling into a new school was harder than I thought it was going to be. I had just went from a school where everyone knew my name to a school where no one even looked twice at me. After about a week, week and a half or something like that, a girl named June finally spoke to me, in a nice way, not like Else.

June talked a lot, I barely got a word in. She talked about everything from her home, to her family, to her dance class, and all of the games she had created. She talked for the entire lunch and for most of reassess. She even talked to my dad after school. June was peppy and always had energy. But June was friendly and was the only person who was even trying to make me feel welcome at my new school. So we became friends, best friends.

June and I did everything together. We talked about everything, in school and on the phone. I was given permission to talked to her one the phone for one hour every night. We would spend the whole hour talking about nothing at all. I loved having a best friend.

It was a month after I had moved, about three weeks since I had first become friends with June. June was talking none stop at lunch, as she always did. But this day, she looked at me and asked, "You want to sleepover at my house Saturday night."

Now I had had Kylie over to my house all the time, but I had never been to anyone else's house. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to say, so I just whispered, "That sounds fun. I'll talk to my daddy."

Of course my dad thought it was the best idea ever and was supper excited I had made a friend already. He then went on to tell me every reason he thought it was a great idea and why June was a great friend. It was a long speech.

So Saturday evening my dad dropped me off at June's house, a nice, three story home in the upper part of town. Her mother answered the door when my dad knocked. Neither my dad or I had met June's mother. She had long wavy brown hair and she was wearing jeans and a plain red t-shirt. She looked almost exactly like June. I could tell my dad thought she was pretty, he couldn't stop looking at her.

My dad and June's mother talked for a long time while June gave me a tour of her house and introduced me to her little sister and twin brothers. When she had finished, we went back to the door to find that our parents were still talking, laughing even. When my dad caught eye of me, he kissed me and said good-bye to June's mother.

The night was like any normal sleep-over night you might have seen or heard of. We eat pizza, yelled at her sister for bugging us, did each other's nails, watched a movie with pop corn, and talked in whispers after we were told to go to bed.

It was dark in June's playroom where we were sleeping. June and I had set up sleeping bags so that we were head to head. We were both looking up to the ceiling. A silence had come over the room, but we both knew the other was not asleep. That's when June said what she did.

"Do you think my mom likes your dad?"

I was quiet, because through that one conversation, I couldn't tell what was going on. They seemed happy, and they were laughing. Was that what someone did when they liked someone else?

"Because my cousin said that a lot of guys like my mom, but I was too young to see it," June continued, "So she explained some signs, like laughing and smiling and staring. I saw all of that with your dad and my mom."

"I don't know," I answered, because I didn't. I wasn't even sure I knew the signs, or even what it looked like when someone liked someone else.

"I was just wondering," June said like she was talking to herself, not me. "Because my cousin said that there was no chance my mom would never find another guy and that I would get a new dad really soon. She said that if he was nice, then I was lucky."

There was a pause. It was so quiet you could hear the princess music coming from June's sister's room next door. Then June said, "Forget I asked." And that was it for conversation that night.

Truth was, we figured out a few nights later, they did like each other, or so June said, for they went out together. June said it was to some fancy restaurant, but I did not believe her because my dad did not looked dressed for a fancy restaurant. But he did look like he use to when he and my mom would go out and leave me with a babysitter and then wouldn't get back until supper late and I was already asleep. And that is what happened the night June said my dad and her mom went out.

I really didn't know what to think of this. What if they became boyfriend and girlfriend, like in the movies? What if they got married and June and I became sisters and June's mom became my mom? What if they didn't like each other and June and I were never ever allowed to see each other again? What would I do if June and I were never ever allowed to see each other again?

I spent the whole night worrying about this stuff while the girl who lived across the street and went to high school tried to play Clue JR. with me. I didn't think she caught me worrying, and if she did, she never said anything like all the babysitters I had back in Africa. I think I liked the no attention from the babysitter thing. It did give me the freedom to worry. And I'm glad I had.


	18. Chapter 18

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 18**

Bella's Journal

For the next week, Ian spent all of his free time trying to figure out what happened that night. While he did so, he made it clear that I was barely ever to leave his sight. The whole week I felt like I was being grounded for something that wasn't my fault. And if it wasn't Ian then it was my parents, and their worry that I was not adjusting to our resent move. In fact, they were starting to set things up so that I could make friends.

"Music classes?" I asked when my mother brought it up that night at dinner.

"Yeah, I believe it will be a great way for you to make some friends," my mom said smiling. "We just try a few classes and if you really don't like them, you can stop."

"And you will be learning how to play many different instruments. You might find a new hobby," my dad mentioned. "I bet you will love it."

"I'll take you over there tomorrow after school," my mom said.

I didn't speak. I didn't have anything to say. Sure, music classes sounded fun, but with other people. I had spent so much time trying to stay away from people. I wasn't sure I was ready to get close to them.

After school the next day, my mother picked me and Ian up and we drove what felt like forever to the studio. Outside the studio, I could already see girls and boys walking in with guitar or violin cases. They had been doing this for ages. I was never going to fit in. But my mother did see that as she parked and opened my door for me to get out.

Inside the studio, there were even more boys and girls. All of them had some sort of instrument. There wasn't a kid without one. I felt so out of place. Everyone was looking at me. That is when I also realized, I was the only kid being escorted in by their mother and older brother. All these kids had to be at least fourth graders if not fifth graders, like Ian. I was going to be the youngest in the class, great.

"Isabel," A man said from behind me. I turned around. The man was tall, really tall and he had a mustache. "Why don't you sit next to Keith and Jenny?" He pointed next to an empty seat between a girl with a guitar and a boy with a trumpet. "We'll figure out what you want to play in a secant."

Without question, I sat down and watched as my mother and Ian left the studio, leaving me alone for who knew how long with these people. Jenny, the girl with the guitar, smiled at me. The boy, Keith, looked away, as if he hated me, but I hadn't really met him.

"Ok, class, we have a new student," the man said standing in the middle of the circle of chairs that had been set up. "Isabel Hartley, why don't you come stand here in the middle of the circle?" I did as he asked. Everyone was now looking at me. There was not a chair unfilled, and all those eyes were on me.

"What instrument do you think you are most like, Isabel?" The man asked as if he were asking me what my favorite color was.

"Bella, and… I'm not sure," I answered softly. Everyone was still staring at me. I just wanted to disappear.

"Well, that doesn't sound like a great answer," The man said looking to the other kids in the class. "Class, what instrument do you all think Miss. Bella her is?"

"A guitar," one kid shouted while another shouted, "A piano." "A Flute." Another shouted out. "A violin," anther shouted. The man laughed at all the answers.

"Ok, ok," The man said. "Maybe this isn't the best way to pick an instrument for Bella here." He looked back at me and asked. "Have you ever played an interment before?" I shook my head. He hummed and looked back to the group.

"Our band needs a singer," a blond peppy looking girl piped up.

"Your right, Ali. Our band does need a singer," The man said creating a ruckus amongst the kids. "Let's hear your voice, and don't be upset if you are not perfect, that is what this class is for."

I took a deep breath. I knew I was never going to get out of this and it was better to just get the embarrassment over with so I could sit down. I opened my mouth and sung the first song that came into my head. When I was finished, the whole class erupted in claps, even the man.

"That was great, Bella," The man said. "I think we have found ourselves a singer."

For the rest of class, everyone was broken up into many different groups. I learned that the whole group was considered a band and that they had a concert for the parents coming up in a month. Since I was the only singer, the man, whose name I soon learned was Mr. Bet, sat with me personally so we could work on the songs they were playing.

After the class I went outside to wait for my mother. Many of the kids had already left with parents and only a few still remained waiting. One of the kids waiting was the girl I had sat with in the beginning of class. She smiled and walked over to me when she saw me.

"I'm Jenny," she introduced. "That was so mean what Ali did to you. Mr. Bet had been making kids stand up and sing in front of the class for weeks, but those are kids who ask. Ali putting you on the spot must have been her way of tormenting the younger members of the class. She still thinks it's all about her, but she is about to go to middle school, and we younger ones are still going to be here. You're a great singer by the way. I loved your voice. You are going to do fine in the concert next month…."

I listened for a while to what Jenny had to say, but after about the first few sentences, I couldn't understand a word she was saying. Just then, my mom's car pulled up and she saw me standing with Jenny. She got out of the car and walked over.

"Oh, sweetie, you made a new friend," She said with a smile. "I knew you would."

"I'm Jenny," Jenny said again, and I was ready for her to go straight back into what she had just told me.

"Well it's nice to meet you Jenny," My mother said before looking at me. "See I knew this was going to be a great idea. I didn't say anything as I made my way to the car.


	19. Chapter 19

**Before I Fall**

_A/N: Ok as some of you already know, my computer is acting up and can't access any of the stories I had saved on it, which was a half done version of this chapter. So I have decided to completely rewrite it. Hope you enjoy. _

**Chapter 19**

Emma's Journal

"You have to come to Brittany's party," Penelope said after she handed me the invite. "Everyone in our age group comes. It will be the best party ever, and a great thing to do after the swim meet. It's a sleepover, and if you are not there, than you will be a loser."

I sighed. I had just learned today that Cleo's birthday party was on the same day as one of our biggest swim meets. I also learned that Brittany's party was right afterwards. Cleo's parties were always the best. Her father rented a bounce house, a pony, a balloon folder, and some other kind of entertainment. There was always a big cake and as much candy as you can eat. It was like the party of the century. Even people who didn't know Cleo well went because it was that great. I would be a loser if I didn't go to her party.

Penelope said that Brittany's parties were just as good, if not better than Cleo's. She said that everyone from our privet school would go. If I didn't show up, people would think I wasn't cool enough to be invited to Brittany's party.

"Please Mom," I begged that day in the car home from Marta's house "Everyone will be there, and Cleo's party is during the meet so I could go anyway."

My mother looked through the mirror at me. Her eyes narrow and her brow crunched. Then her expression lightened and she said, "Fine, but we are still going to get Cleo a gift and you are going to bring it by her house this weekend before the meet."

I nodded, a smile creeping onto my face. I was allowed to go to Brittany's. This was going to be the best weekend ever.

That Saturday morning was great. I dressed in my team suit and put on my team shirt and team shorts. I had all my swim things in my team bag and I was ready to swim my little heart out as my mother had said. My mother had gotten two presents, one wrapped in pink, for Brittany, the other wrapped in purple, for Cleo. Even Elliot was up and dressed in the team colors and it was only seven in the morning.

At eight I walked up the path to Cleo's front door. My parents had stayed in the car with Elliot and were watching as I rang the door bell and Kim answered the door. She was dressed in a poufy yellow dress with white ribbon and looked hyper as ever. When she called for Cleo, she practically yelled my ear off. It took Cleo like ten minutes to come down the stairs. She too was wearing a dress, a purple one with pink ribbon, but she didn't look as happy. She did actually smile a little when she opened the gift, which I guess was some sort of an accomplishment. Cleo didn't seem too disappointed when I told her I couldn't come to her party, but I knew she was a little upset. I felt just a little bad as I walked away from her house.

The meet was already a buzz when we got there. It took us a few minutes to find a spot to set up, but eventually we found one next to Ginger's parents and four little siblings. As soon as my parents were set up, I ran off to find Ginger, Penelope, Marta, and Brittany in Brittany's big tent that her parents had set up right next to Marta's tent. They were stretching out and getting ready for worm ups while talking about Brittany's birthday party.

"And my mom got a big chocolate cake with three layers," Brittany went on. "Pink icing of course."

"What about the games?" Penelope asked.

"I just got a new slip-n-slide," Brittany said as if it was the best thing in the world, which I guess it was.

"Cool," Penelope commented. Then she looked to me, "You are coming, right Emma?"

"Of course I am," I said happily. "Why wouldn't I go?"

Brittany, Penelope, and Marta smiled as if this was the best thing ever. I smiled too, not knowing what else to do. Lucky for me, they called for worm ups to start and we all had to go.

The meet was the most exciting event of my life. There were many big kids running around, finding people, pulling them to different parts of the pool. There was barley a time when anyone was sitting still or had nothing to do. It was the first meet I was swimming all four strokes, Freestyle, Backstroke, Breaststroke, and Butterfly as well as a relay. We even got to watch the big kids swim. They were great, and I couldn't wait till I could swim like them.

At the end of the meet Brittany's parents drove Brittany, Marta, Penelope, Ginger and me back to Brittany's for the party. When we got there, there were already tons of people. Most the kids there were from our school and Brittany's church afterschool care. I only recognized half of them, and they were people I never even talked to. There were also so many games and activities set up around her backyard.

After two minutes, Brittany, Penelope, and Marta left Ginger and me standing alone in the arts tent. Ginger and I wondered around the party in silence trying to play the games and do the activities. When it was time for cake, there were too many people who wanted to sit near Brittany that Ginger and I were pushed to the other side of the table. I knew no one I was sitting near and it was a bit of a quiet time.

When it was time to go, I couldn't even say good-bye to Brittany, for there were so many kids around her. It was the worst birthday party I had ever been to. Still, when my mother asked, "Did you have a great time?" I said, "Yeah, it was the best." It was the first lie I had ever told my mother and it would hopefully be the last.


	20. Chapter 20

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 20**

Cleo's Diary

I awoke on the day of my tenth birthday scared. This was going to be the first birthday party without Kate and all my other friends from my class. Sure people would still come, everyone came to my parties, but it wasn't going to be the same. Things had changed since I turned nine, and I knew more was going to change before I could turn eleven.

I got dressed slowly, taking my time to put on my dress and buckle my shoes. Then I spent a while brushing out my curly brown hair, making it look perfect. It didn't, but whatever. After that I spent a few more minutes just sitting in my room until Kim called me down stairs and said someone was at the door for me.

I walked down the stairs as slowly as I could to find Emma standing at the door in a swim team outfit and holding a present. She was smiling like she usually does when she didn't know what else to do. I just stood there while she explained why she couldn't come to my party and how she had gotten me a gift anyway. When she finished talking, she handed me the gift. I opened it slowly while she looked right at me. It was a fuzzy red journal with lineless white pages and my name glued on it with foam letters. I smiled just a little bit at the gift, while wondering when I would ever use this. Then I watched her walk back to the car, and that was that.

My parents spent the rest of the morning setting up the backyard for the party. The hung posters, and banners, and streamers everywhere. There was a bounce house, a balloon folder, and a princess. The cake was chocolate and shaped like a princesses' castle. There was so much pink everywhere.

People started to show up at three, mostly just kids from my class that I had never really talked to and my parent's friends' kids, also who I never really knew. I did my best to say hi to everyone, but I also spent a lot of time hanging out around the door, trying to blend into the glass.

"You can't disappear into glass," I heard a boy's voice say from behind me. I turned around to find Lewis standing next to me, wearing a sweater vest and looking like his mother dressed him. I smiled at the sight of him.

"Yeah, I figured that out a while ago," I joked. He laughed, even though the joke wasn't that funny. "I just… don't want to talk to anyone."

"Why not?" He asked, leaning against the door like one of the big kids in the upper school boys. "Isn't this your party?"

I nodded, "I don't really know them." I confessed. "I never really did know anyone who came to my parties. All the girls I did know were…." I couldn't finish that sentence, but I believe Lewis understood what I was saying.

"You know, I never really knew the people at some of my parties," Lewis confessed. "My oldest brother just invites kids that have older siblings he knows. My mom doesn't understand. She thinks I am really friends with those kids."

"Ok, kids," My dad called as all the kids ran to where he was standing next to the cake. "Who wants cake?"

I walked slowly to the chair at the table with the pink princess balloon. I sat down as my father lit the candle and my mother filmed the whole thing. Everyone started to sing happy birthday with crazy voices and much excitement. It was a little scary.

When they finished, I smiled, took a deep breath and blew on the ten candles hard. They all went out, but all the blowing sent a few of the candles into the faces for Tiffany, Nate, and Lewis. Tiffany yelled. Nate laughed. Lewis just stared at me. Tears started to well up in my eyes. Without thinking, I ran inside and up to my room, where I locked the door and started to cry.

My parents came up a few seconds later, but I wouldn't let them in. I could hear Kim in the hallway laughing and the kids down at the party yelling and laughing as well. This was the second worst moment in my life.

I spent the rest of the party hidden in my room. I watched the other kids play outside, laughing and yelling and having a great time. Who I didn't see was Lewis. He must have gone home after I had spit in his face. I started to cry just a little more.

Finally, everyone left and I came out of my room to find my mother cleaning up the kitchen. I also found Lewis sitting in the living room coloring one of the art projects that were outside. He smiled when he saw me coming down the stairs.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked with surprise.

"My brother had the wrong time to pick me up," He answered with a smile. "Your mom said I could wait in here."

I smiled and sat down next to him. I really didn't know what to say. I just stared straight at the door. Suddenly I had a chunk of cake in my face and Lewis was laughing.

"And now we are even," He said handing me a napkin.

I licked a little of the frosting off my finger. Then, looking at my finger, I smeared it all over his face, and laughed. We spent the rest of the time waiting for his brother messing with cake then washing it off.

When his brother finally did come, I was actually sad he had to leave. I didn't think it was going to be possible, but I think I had made a new best friend. Sure he couldn't replace Kate, but Lewis was fun to play with, even if he was a boy. I guess I could find something fun with school again.


	21. Chapter 21

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 21**

Rikki's Journal

Well, let's just say, the date didn't go well, at all. Then, on top of that, my father was fired from his job, and he hadn't been working for more than two months. With little money, no job in the area and bad memories, my dad decided early one morning to move us. A week later, the house was up for sale and my father was showing me pictures of the small home we were renting across the country. I was a bit confused, but smiled and went along with it. He seemed so happy.

Now trees passed by the window as my father goes on and on about how nice the new house and new neighborhood was going to be. Apparently there was a pool, and a park with a sports league. I could join whatever I wanted, soccer, swimming, basketball, softball, you name it, they had a team for it, and my dad wanted me to join one. I just nodded and agreed, keeping my eyes glued on the trees.

The house was about the same size as the other. It wasn't big; there wasn't even a second story. But it was nice, and this one had three rooms. My room was about the same size as my old one, but this one I couldn't paint. All of my furniture fit nicely in about the same style as it had in my old room, but it wasn't the same at all. It was all new.

School was actually about the same. There were really only two months left of it, but my dad still wanted me to go. I was placed in the smallest of the three classes, which was actually bigger than my old class. Lucky for me, the girls in this class were so much nicer than my old class. Before school was over for the day, seven girls had already said hi to me, like I was some kind of super star. Everyone wanted to play with me. Everyone wanted to sit near me. I guess that is how it was when a new girl moved into a small town.

Before I knew it, I was part of a clique. Three girls wanted me to be friends with them, and every girl at the school wanted to be friends with them. They taught me everything about the town and school, who to talk to, where to go, what to wear. They showed me what was fun around town, and what was babyish and lame. They were great friends, but I still felt as if I was being pushed around. I had little say, and my option didn't really mater. This small town stuff was something I was going to have to get use to.

Ivy was the ring leader, head of grade 3. She had the prettiest straight red hair that shined in the sun. She wore a lot of pinks, blues, and other bright colors. She was a fan of skirts and dresses, and fancy shoes. Her mother was rich, so she could get whatever she wanted whenever she wants. She was so lucky.

Lilith was the organizer, plainer and smart one of the group. She had long straight brown hair, the kind I wanted. She wore white everything, from white shirts, white skirts, white pants, white dresses, even a white backpack. She liked her things orderly, plain and perfect, if there was such a thing. She also liked rules and following them, not that the other girls didn't. Lilith was just a little more cautious about them.

Michelle had the style of the group. She looks great in anything she wears. Her style is over the top, bright colors, puffy skirts, feathers, sparks, and big glasses. I admire her style, on her. It is over the top. But she is not a speaker, at all. She has barely said more than a few words for as long as I knew her. Michelle likes to let her style talk for her, which I guess is ok.

When I first met these girls, I was afraid they weren't going to like me in my plain light pink dress and white shoes. I looked plain and boring next to Michelle. I was never that smart, and seemed like a total dummy compared to Lilith. What did I have that Ivy would like, really? But they took me in like I was a lost puppy, which was great, I think.

I had friends in this town, and people did not hate me. So far, this was the best place my father had taken me, not that we had been to more than two towns. Still I liked this place; I didn't ever want to leave.

My dream seemed to get better when my dad started to go on and on about his new job. He kept saying things about how this was the place for us, and how we were really going to start a life here. I hardly understood a lot of the things he was saying, but they sounded good. So I smiled and nodded and let my dad dress me up and show me off to his friends as his pretty little girl. I would do anything to stay here and be friends with Ivy and the others. I didn't care if I was the cute little girl my dad wanted me to be, not that I was far off anyway.

The only thing I didn't like about our new home was the big kids that lived next door. Ivy called them the Torture Twins. They weren't really twins, a sixth grade boy and a fifth grade girl, but they acted like twins and they were mean to me and the other younger kids on the street. Ivy told me to ignore them; that they would go away. But I really didn't want them to ruin this place for me. I really didn't want to have to move again. So if that meant holding my breath, and I could hold my breath for a long time, and pushing through, then I would.


	22. Chapter 22

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 22**

Bella's Journal

Yeah I knew this day would come. School had just ended, and my parents just dropped the, we're moving bomb. That means, new school, new friends, new hotel to call home. Of course, since we moved so much, everything we owned could fit into either six or seven boxes, no furniture. Ian and I had packed so many times, we started to make a contest of it. Who can pack faster? Who can have the least number of boxes? I'm fast. He's a tight packer.

At exactly 12pm, we were all squished into the van, with no room to move in any direction. Ian had just gotten a portable CD player and three CD's, so he was what my parents would say plugged in and out of it. I of course was stuck staring out the window, listening to the music my parents like and them tell me how much I was going to love this new place.

We were going to Spain. There was a hotel in a tourist fill area, a very English speaking area. They also had an English speaking school, and neighborhood. My parents explained how Ian and I would attend the same school, and we would have uniform. They also explained that another staff member in the hotel had a son my age, and we were going to be in the suit next to theirs. So I could have a friend, maybe.

But I didn't care how cool this place sounded, it was not going to compare to the ocean and caves surrounding Ireland. I was going to miss all of the swimming, and sea life. Sure there would be a beach near our new home, but it was not going to be the same. Nothing was going to be the same.

At 6pm, we were sitting in a small café in the airport. Ian was picking at the burger he had been ordered. I had taken three bites and was now just nibbling on the fries. I don't think my parents even noticed that we weren't eating. They were too excited about the move, as they always were. They talked about the culture, and the nature, and everything we were going to need to know about living there. It was like this every time. They didn't even notice, Ian and I weren't listening to, wouldn't listen to, or didn't understand what they were saying. They were just so wrapped up in their own happy.

By 7pm, we were on the plane. I was next to the window. Ian sat next to me with our mother next to him. Our father sat across the aisle. Ian was showing me the activities book he and our father picked up for the two of us. I was un-entertained, and just tried desperately to listen so that I would not start to cry, like I did last time or the time before that or the time before that.

To tell you the truth, I never like all the moving like my parents thought I did. They couldn't see through my mask, but Ian could. He was the one who held me and told me everything was going to be ok. He was the one who would say, things would be different this time. He was the one who tried to find the bright side to always moving, never having a place to call home. But I still didn't like it. I didn't like when the teaches asked me where I was from, I could never answer. I didn't like how whenever I tried to get close to anyone, they disappeared before I could really call them a friend. I little I could call my own, and only one who knew the real me, only one who would ever know the real me. I was lost in a world that had recently been turned upside down, and now I had to move on, never being able to right myself, and only Ian could know. Even he couldn't completely understand. No one could ever completely understand.

It was 2am by the time the new van entered the hotel parking lot. My parents thought that I was asleep. My father lifted my from my seat, and held me close to him as he carried me inside, as he had a million times when I was younger and we arrived to a new place too late for me to be awake. I gripped his shirt tight, pulling my face into his shirt. I could see over his shoulder Ian walking next to my mother, both of them carrying boxes. Only Ian saw I was awake. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. Then I closed my eyes and let my father carry me to my new bed.

When I woke up, I was staring at Ian's bed across from mine. He was still asleep. I sighed and sat up. I started to look around the room. It was nice, like some fancy jungle like hotel. It was also hot, so hot that I kicked off my sheets. Then I jumped out of bed and made my way into the main part of the room. Outside I found my mother making breakfast in the kitchen and my father watching the news on the couch.

"Bella," My mother cried when she saw me. "You are up." I walked over to her and pulled myself up on one of the stools on the high table. "How do you like our new home?"

I loved how she always said, "new home." Like this was going to be where we lived from now on. It never felt like a home to me, just another hotel that we seemed like royalty around. I never called it a home either. My parents never noticed, and I guess they never would.

"It's pretty," I said as I did every time. My mom took it, like she usually did, with a smiled and a kiss on my forehead.

I smiled as she put a plate with scrambled eggs and toast in front of me along with a glass of milk. I started to eat, as she watched and saw her little girl doing a fine job of adjusting when she didn't want to.


	23. Chapter 23

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 23**

Emma's Journal

"How did it feel to fly all by yourself?" I asked Zane as we sat in his room that night. Yesterday Zane had flown on an airplane all by his self when his daddy left him in the South Pacific. We could hear my parents yelling at his daddy every few minutes, then lowering their voices when they remembered we were here.

"It was a little scary," Zane admitted. "I just woke up staring at all the empty seats around me. I looked around and couldn't find my dad anywhere. By the time someone actually asked if I was lost, I had been sitting there alone for like eight hours."

"That's a long time," Elliot said, sticking his face in Zane's.

Zane nodded. "And it was like another ten hours before the airplane lady put me on the plane home. My dad acted all freaked out when I got home, like I was the one who wondered away from him."

"That's terrible." I said softly.

Then we sat silently for a while. Even Elliot was quiet. We were so quiet I could listen when someone yelled downstairs. I tried my best to listen and keep my eyes on Zane.

"Someone said they saw him sitting there for two hours before anyone even approached him," I could hear my mommy cry. "Anyone could have just come up and grabbed him. Anyone Harrison."

"He is safe now," Zane's dad said, trying to be quieter. "Isn't that what matters?"

There was some quiet moments, when I guess the parents were talking quietly and we just couldn't hear them. Elliot kept looking between Zane and I. Zane was looking at me, and I was looking at him. That is when we heard it. It was my mother's voice, trying hard to be calm, but it wasn't. "This isn't just for him Harrison, it's for you too. It will only be a few days, a week at most. But you need to get it together, and everyone agrees."

Then my daddy was at the door telling Zane to pack a bag. That he was coming home with us. Zane quickly packed a bag, while I asked my daddy things like why, and for how long. He didn't give me the answers, but a kiss on the head as he lead Zane, Elliot and me from the room and to the car.

At first I thought having Zane staying with us would be great. It would like none stop fun every day, and for the first day it was. But it was summer, and with summer came more days with Cleo and her little sister. Which, again, should've been great, but my mommy had also invited two kids from her school, a boy named Lewis and a girl named Merriam. They were two kids I really didn't like at all.

Cleo mainly just hung out with Lewis, staying far, far from everyone. Kim and Elliot stayed together for the most part. They were four years younger than the rest of us, I did blame them. I tried to play with Zane and Merriam, but I don't know why, but it was like they didn't want me around them, even if they weren't saying it.

Today was the worst though. My mom had allowed us to go swimming. Zane and Merriam had been getting close for a while now, and I did not get suspicious when they started hanging out in the pool as well. Cleo and Lewis did not surprise me either, sitting together away from the pool, for I knew Cleo would most likely never get near the water again, and Lewis won't leave her alone. Kim and Elliot were playing in the shallow end, where they could touch, and staying away from us big kids as much as they could. I was trying to play with Zane and Merriam, but they were being their usual selves, pushing me away as much as they could without saying anything.

I could already tell that Merriam was started to wonder about Cleo and Lewis not swimming. So when she whispered to me and Zane, "What is with Cleo not swimming?" All I could do was turn as look at the two of them laughing about some joke no one could hear or understand.

"She's scared," I answered before I knew what I was saying.

Merriam laughed loudly at that. Zane mimicked her, not knowing any better. It made me so made to hear the two of them, so I said, "So what, it's not like you two are without fear." Then I smiled and said to Merriam, "Like, aren't you afraid of spiders?"

"Yeah but that is nothing compared to the babyish fear of water." Merriam said starting to laugh again. "Who is afraid of water?" Her laughing was getting louder, and I could tell Cleo and Lewis were listening in now.

Anger was welling up in me. I thought quick, knowing that my actions were going to annoy both Zane and Merriam, but I did it anyway. I stepped closer to Merriam, and just pushed her, making her lose her balance and fall into the pool. I could see Cleo and Lewis jumping up to see what had happened. I could see my mom coming out to see what happened. Even Elliot and Kim had stopped and started to look to see what had happened. Zane was staring at me, and he did not look happy. Before anyone could say anything, I ran off and hid in my room for the rest of the day.

For the rest of the summer, I didn't come out of my room when Merriam, Cleo, Lewis and Kim came over. Zane left before I ever had a real good chance to talk to him about what happened. And he started to give me the silent treatment when we were near each other. Then, whenever I could, I went over to Brittany, Penelope's, Marta's or Ginger's, just to get away from the others, and the possibility that they would never want to play with me again, because I was sure they would never want to play with me again.


	24. Chapter 24

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 24**

Cleo's Journal

I had not been looking forward to summer at all. With only Lewis as a friend, many days spent at Emma's, and the avoiding drowning again becoming much more difficult. Summer was not going to be as fun as it had been last year.

Last year Kate and I would hang out all day long, going to the pool and beach and other places with her mom. We would spend all summer together, with sleepovers and play dates. I couldn't imagine summer without her. But I guess I would have to now.

Since we couldn't go to Kate's, Kim and I were taken to Emma's during the day. This summer they had Zane staying with them, as well as Merriam and Lewis over for the day. I thought this day was going to be great, but it was far from, and it all started when Emma's mom announced that we could all go swimming.

Of course I hadn't gotten over the water thing. I never would, ever. But with everyone so excited to get in the pool, I didn't know what to say. So I didn't say anything, letting everyone change and get sun-screened and ready for the pool. I stood in the background, waiting until someone noticed I wasn't as excited as everyone else was.

Right before everyone went out to the pool, Lewis noticed that I was still standing across the room, holding my dolls. He sneaked away from the others and came over to where I was standing.

"What's wrong, Cleo?" He asked in a whisper so that Merriam, Zane or Emma would not hear us talking.

"I'm not getting in the water," I stated very calmly, running my fingers through my doll's hair.

"Why not?" Lewis asked, being really sweet about it.

"Because I will go under," I answered very honestly, before I noticed Emma's mom listening in. Then I just shook my head and said, "I'm not going in."

"Ok, ok," Lewis said, knowing he shouldn't push it any more than that. Then he sighed, before he smiled and said, "If you're not going in, then I'm not going in."

I shook my head again. "I'm not going to do that to you. Go play with the other's. I'll be fine."

Lewis looked at me for a long time. Then he looked out to where Zane and Merriam were laughing, and Emma was trying to laugh at a joke she obviously didn't understand. Then he looked back at me, took one of my dolls, grabbed his towel and said, "I'm not going to leave you alone." He wrapped the doll up in the towel so that only her eyes were showing. "Especially with a ninja on the loose." I laughed, following him out to the pool chairs.

We played there on the pool chairs for the longest time, so long I forgot that we were supposed to be in the pool. That is I had, until I heard Merriam and Zane laughing again. I turned my head to see what they were doing. Whatever it was, Emma wasn't liking it.

"Yeah but that is nothing compared to the babyish fear of water," I heard Merriam say, loudly, like she wanted me to hear.

"Ignore her," Lewis whispered, but I could tell he was listening too.

"Who's afraid of water?" Merriam said bursting into another fit of laughter.

Then, without warning, Emma pushed her in. She just pushed her, like it was nothing, like it was some sort of game. Lewis and I jumped. Elliot and Kim stopped what they were doing. Even Emma's mother had come to see what had happened. Zane was staring at Emma now, and could tell she was get about to freak out. She never did anything like this. Emma was the good girl. So I was not surprised when she ran up to her room and hide there for the rest of the afternoon. But with Emma out of the way, Merriam easily twisted the story so that Emma looked like the bad guy, even adding tears. Zane didn't even say anything to stop her, and I never had a chance to set the story straight.

The rest of the summer went badly. Emma did a lot of hiding in her room or at her swim team friends' houses. When I was over there, I rarely saw her. Which meant I was left out in the open with Merriam and Zane, who took any chance they had to taunt me or torture me, playing jokes that hurt me or scared me. They were being really, really mean. Day after day I would end up with something in my hair, something popping out at me, laughing I didn't understand, and tears that came from something they did, or didn't do. I just couldn't stand it anymore, and it was only because Emma wasn't there, stopping them.

Luckily, Lewis was. When things got bad, I could count on him at least. When Zane and Merriam pushed me down, he made it better. Lewis reminded me, that they were just being mean, and that I should ignore them. It didn't help me ignore them, but it helped me remember that it was nothing, and that they were just being mean.

The rest of the summer went by pretty much the same, with Zane and Merriam being mean, then Lewis telling me to forget about them. Sure there was the playing with Elliot and Kim, and the games Emma's mother tried to get us to play, and play nicely. Then there were the moments where everyone would be happy one minute then fighting with each other the next, having someone shielding others from mean words and being hit. Ok, so the rest of the summer was just one big mess, and there was no one around who could even try to clean it up. No one had much fun, no one was very happy, and no one could get along for more than thirty secants without someone getting hurt in one way or another. It was the worst summer of my life, and I was afraid it was just going to get worse.


	25. Chapter 25

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 25**

Rikki's Journal

Summer was looking up. With friends, and fun, and no sign of moving any time soon. My daddy loved his job, and he was good at it too. The street was very friendly, and my daddy let me play with my friends all day on the street outside. I guess we had found where we belonged, and nothing was going to pull us away.

Being 10 was the best thing ever. I had more freedom, more fun. I knew more than the little kids on the block, and I liked being wiser. Kids looked up to me, and I kind of liked that. I felt like I was back in South Africa. I felt like I belonged here.

This summer started out as the best summer of my life. With Ivy, Lilith and Michelle, I had lots of fun everyday and not even the Torture Twins could ruin it, nothing could ruin it. I was a whole new girl, I was a part of something. Life was great for me. I didn't think anything could go wrong, and nothing in the world could be wrong. But I was young, and I thought a lot of things.

Ivy had crazy ideas, ideas Lilith seemed to always be against. I loved her ideas, and was always on her side when Lilith and Michelle tried to talk us out of things. We never listened, and ended up in so much trouble. This time was no different.

Ivy had decided that we were going to visit this old fountain deep in the forest behind her house. She had been back there once, and she had told us that it was pretty far back there, but the walk was worth it to see this fountain. She explained about the old path that you could barely see and she was going to take us there. Lilith was completely against the idea, even going so far as to say she wasn't going to go with us. I could tell Michelle didn't want to come, but she didn't want to look like a baby in front of Ivy.

In the end, after lunch that day we all started into the woods behind Ivy's house. Ivy was in the lead, Michelle and me right behind her. Lilith followed close behind the two of us. Ivy had been right when she said you could barely see the path. It was cover with leaves, and many branches were in our way. We had to hold branches back, climb over tree trunks, and step around holes. But there was defiantly a path, for every other part of the forest was not as clear as this one part. Still if didn't know where you were going, you would get lost, fast.

"Are we even going the right way?" Lilith asked when we had been walking for a long time. I was wondering the same thing, but I didn't ask.

"Yeah, it's just a little further," Ivy said pushing another branch out of the way. "Trust me, this is worth the walk."

I heard Lilith sigh, but she was still following close behind Michelle and me. I think she knew we were lost before we even started into the woods.

After about another hour or something like that, we made it to this clearing, and in the middle of the clearing was a fountain. It was beautiful, really old and covered in a green plant, but you could still tell that it was a statue of a mermaid in the middle. She had no face anymore, and I think one of her arms had fallen off as well. She was in this sitting position, and I couldn't help but just stare at her.

"I told you it was worth the walk," Ivy said with this smile that kind of scared me. "And it's magical."

"Magical?" Michelle and Lilith questioned at the same time.

Ivy nodded and pulled out a penny from her pocket. She looked to each of us, then smiled, before she throw the penny into the fountain and said, "I wish that one day something magical could happen to all three of us."

There was a bit of silence after the penny fell into the waterless fountain. We all just stared at the fountain for a little bit, then Lilith burst into laughter and said, "Yeah, like something magical is going to happen to us one day. Maybe we will all turn into mermaids." She sighed and stepped away from where the three of us were standing.

"Nonbelievers get nothing," Ivy called to her. "Only believers get magic, right Rikki?" She was looking to me now. I didn't know what to say.

Finally, I found my voice and I whispered, "Right." But Ivy was already looking at Michelle.

"I don't know, maybe," Michelle said softly. "I don't know."

"You two are nonbelievers," Ivy said putting her arm through mine. "Only we will get magic, right Rikki."

"Right," I whispered again. Truthfully I didn't know what I believed, but I do know that the place did seem magical. I wanted to believe in what Ivy was saying, it was so easy to. But I didn't want to upset Michelle or Lilith.

"Can we go back, I think it is getting dark," Lilith said right then, looking up past the trees to the orangish sky.

"Yeah, Yeah we're going," Ivy said starting back into the woods with the three of us on her tail.

It didn't take long for it to get dark. No matter how much we couldn't see the path anymore, Ivy continued to walk, with us close on her heels. I was starting to get scared, and stepped a bit closer to Ivy. I could tell Michelle and Lilith were scared as well. They were standing close together behind us, Lilith almost grabbing my shirt.

"You do know where we are?" Lilith asked, the fear Michelle and I weren't showing coming out in her voice.

"Of course I do," She said as she pulled another branch out of the way. Then she stopped and looked around. "Or at least I think I do."

"Ivy!" Lilith cried.

"I'll get us home," Ivy said, but I could already hear the fear in her voice too. I was starting to worry.

After another few hours of walking in circles, we could see light. Lilith and Michelle ran ahead of us. Ivy and I came through into the opening not too far behind them to find that we were now in Lilith's backyard, three houses down from Ivy's. There was also a lot of commotion on the street. We walked out there to find everyone and a few police gathered in the street.

"There they are," I heard Cassie, one of the torture twins call pointing in our direction. Then we had parents and police all over us, asking where we were and saying they were so glad that we were safe.

It turns out that it was midnight by the time we had found our way home. Everyone had been worried sick, especially my dad. The next day, my dad spent all day packing up the house, and keeping me inside. Late that night, he put most of our stuff in the car, put me in the car, dressed in my nighty, and he started to drive. He didn't stop until it was very light outside, and I had no idea where we were. Even then we only stopped for breakfast and to change into regular clothes. I didn't know how long we were going to drive, and I was scared my daddy didn't either.


	26. Chapter 26

**Before I Fall **

_A/N: I'm sorry I have to do this, but to keep the story going, I am about to squish ages 11 and 12 in a chapter together for everyone. I wanted to keep everyone on the same page, especially Emma and Cleo, and to do that I need them to be 13 now, hence the squish of 11 and 12. Hope you like. _

**Chapter 26:**

Bella's Journal

Ian grow up at lot during our time in Spain. He started to hang out with boys his age, and started to push me and my problems away. I was scared he was going to forget about me, leave me alone. I wouldn't talk to kids my age, or kids at all. I didn't want to have any close friends, because I was afraid they would think I was a freak.

With Ian gone, I found peace in the ocean where I could be myself, where I belonged. I was given more freedom, with my parents thinking Ian and I were always together. It was beyond them that Ian and I might not see each other until we came home at six. Ian didn't care what I did, where I went, or who I was hanging out with, or not hanging out with, so long as I did not bug him. I fell in love with the sea life, and the underwater world. They understood what I was going through when Ian wouldn't listen.

With time and space also came understanding. I spent at lot of time understanding and controlling my powers. I was getting better, knowing more, every day. I tried sharing my findings with Ian, but he didn't always care. The only thing he did care in was my safety and feelings, and even that was a slim care.

When I turned 11, my father got a new job in Italy. We moved there a week before school was over. And I know I'm supposed to be sad about that, crying about how I am losing friends, and will never fit in anywhere else, but I was actually kind of happy about the move. It was like I never had enough time for anyone to get close enough to me to find anything out.

We moved another three times before I even had enough time to start another school, twice next to the ocean. Ian was starting to hate the moving, saying that he never had enough time to make friends.

"No one gets it," He told me one night when I was 11 and he was 14. "You don't want friends. They don't need them. But I do, and if we keep moving, no one is ever going to want to hang out with me."

"I'll hang out with you," I had said, trying to be nice. But I was in middle school, and he was in high.

"That's not enough," He said, turning over in his bed and looking away from me. I almost cried at the sound of his voice, and the words he said.

We didn't talk a lot after that. That was when I first started to see us growing apart, but we would always come back together in the end. There was still no fighting. I guess that was good, right? Life was hard without the comfort of Ian. I felt more alone whenever I was out of the water, like I didn't really belong anymore. I was no longer human.

One afternoon, not too long after my 12th birthday, Ian actually found me crying in our room for that three months. I thought he would just leave me be. I thought he wouldn't care about me. But he did care, and he sat down next to me on the floor. Without words, he put his arms around me, telling me silently that he was there for me.

"I can't do this," I whispered to him. "I'm not human. I don't belong here."

"Of course you belong here," He said, his arms still around me. "You're my little sister. There is no freaky magic out there that could change that. If freaky magic wants to try, it can go through me."

I laughed, know he wasn't kidding. Then I hugged him, because that was when I knew he wasn't going to leave me on my own, no matter how many friends he got, or how much he hated the moving that I loved. No matter what we thought or did, we were siblings, and there was nothing that would tear us apart.

For the longest time after that, Ian did his best to include me in whatever he did. He had friends that were both boys and girls, which made me tagging along not too weird. Still I could tell some of his friends didn't like me being there. I'm sure they thought of me as a kid, and they were babysitting. But I felt included with them. I felt almost human.

Still, the love didn't last forever, and Ian soon stopped letting me tag along with him. He would try to be nice about it, apologize, say he would make it up to me, but he never did. I knew he wanted to be away from me as much as his friends did. I was a kid. I was a burden. I was more than Ian wanted to deal with.

So back to the ocean I went. I played with dolphins, messed with sharks and jellyfish. I even used my jelly power to mess with people on the beaches, make them think they were seeing weird looking jellyfish. It was hilarious when they would drag their family members or friends to see and it would be gone. But I was still alone, no matter how many fish were around me, no matter how much fun I had. I knew I was alone, and nothing was helping with that. I would spend hours in secret spots I could find, or just in the ocean or on the beach and cry to myself. No one would even look my way. No one really care. If they did, I would be sitting in the sand, looking out to the only world that accepted me, with tears streaming down my cheeks and no one even looking my way. Sometimes I wondered if I was even wanted in the human world, or if I was only wanted in the sea. 


	27. Chapter 27

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 27: **

Emma's Journal

My swimming took off in the years that followed that summer. I went from new girl, to top in my age group. I even pushed Brittany and Penelope down. I was unbeatable, and unstoppable in the water. Everyone knew it as soon as they saw me swim. I won many trophies and mettles that I filled up my shelf so quickly.

Marta moved away soon after we all turned 11. So the group was back to a foursome. Brittany like this, for reasons I didn't know. Penelope was also glad we were back to a foursome, as if there was some secret good that was going to come out of there only being four people in our group and not five.

I stopped hanging out with Cleo and Zane as well, not that they really wanted to hang out with me. Cleo had Lewis and Zane had Merriam. They were happy without me, and I could deal with that. There were fewer and fewer dinners, and family nights and play dates until eventually, we just didn't talk anymore.

I was happy with my life, my friends. I couldn't say I didn't want things, I am 11, but I wasn't asking for anything big. There was peace, and love, and everything. Or at least as far as I knew.

One summer afternoon, when Brittany and Ginger were over, and Elliot was still following me around like I was the most interesting person in the world, my mother came into the living room, and she looked like she had news. They were shutting down our school. I would start public school in the fall, the same school Cleo, Lewis, and Merriam already went to. Brittany was shocked. Ginger was speechless, not that she spoke much anyway. Elliot didn't quite understand what had just happened.

As soon as my mother was out of the room, Ginger and I turned to Brittany. She looked mad. "How can they just throw us into school with those… normal kids… like we're nothing special? And for our first year of junior high. You know Grade Six is everything."

Ginger nodded in agreement with Brittany, but I didn't agree. "It might be fun to meet new people." I said softly, knowing Brittany wasn't going to like that."

But she surprised me. Brittany smiled, turning her head from Ginger to me. I didn't know what I had just done, but I knew it was something good. So I smiled as well, waiting for her to say something.

"You're so right, Em," She said giving me one of her squeezey hugs. "We will meet new people. New people to love and adore us. Right Gin?" She looked to Ginger who was smiling just like Brittany. I smiled too. Truthfully I didn't know what else I should do. "We'll show them. We'll be top of the food chain before the second week of school."

Sure enough, when school started, Brittany worked the same magic she worked on the privet school kids, and the swim team. Everyone loved us, or at least her. She was the one with the power, who could make or break a person with just a few words to the right people. She knew how to get people to listen to her with just the right tone, or eye wink or hair flip. She had boys jumping at her by winter. She had girls following her spring. She had copiers and a crowd that I didn't even knew would really exist outside of TV. There was no doubting it, she was popular. And as her best friend, so was I.

Brittany chose everything for me… my hair, my clothes, who I talk to, how to talk, and what to talk about. I was her right hand girl. If she was going to talk to someone, it would be me. Penelope might have the money and rides. Ginger might have the total loyalty. But Brittany liked me the most, the smartest kid in my class, the fast girl on the swim team, the only one of her followers with an opinion, even if she never brought it up much. And I liked that.

Grade six was the biggest year of junior high. It was the first year. It made or broke you. If you were nothing in junior high, then you were nothing in high school. And if you were nothing in high school… well you were nothing, a loser, a geek, a weirdo. Penelope explained everything. Her older sister was a top swimmer on the team, and she had dealt with enough losers to know how to spot them early.

"Like Zane's friend, Nate." Penelope explained. "He is a loser, and a pig. Zane on the other hand. He is something."

"What about Merriam?" I had asked while the two of us were sitting out next to my pool waiting for Brittany to get there.

"Merriam?" Penelope had started with a little bit of a laugh. "She'll be big. She hangs out with Zane right." I nodded, remembering them the other day at school, laughing with Tiffany and Nate. "She has good style and a way to control people. She also has looks, and a little talent. But she has the preps. We're the jocks. We still have more control, because the school like us." Penelope smiled, taking a sip of her water. "You'll see."

Brittany had shown up at that moment, and the conversation was over. We never did have time to finish that conversation. I was still worried about what she meant. Yeah I knew the teachers, the principle and many of the school faculty like me, but I'm a likeable person. I wanted to know what she meant by more control. But I knew that eventually, I always saw what she meant, always found how we were acting like we were better than everyone else. Always saw how jerky we were being to the other kids, and how most of them really felt about us. Brittany didn't see, but I did, and yet I didn't do anything but smiled, and make Brittany feel better about herself.

By the end of the school year, I knew one thing. Brittany liked me, and other girls liked what I had. I was something, and I wasn't about to give all this up.


	28. Chapter 28

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 28**

Cleo's Journal

After that summer, I started to think that Emma didn't want much to do with me. She avoided me. There were fewer play dates, fewer dinners, fewer times together, until we just didn't talk at all. Not that not seeing her was really going to kill me. It really didn't.

I spent a lot of time with Lewis, and his brothers. I spent time playing with Kim, and I spent time fighting with Kim. I spent time with my parents, with their crazy plans on what I should be doing, who I should be hanging out with, and what I should be afraid of. I spent time with my fish, a collection that grew every day. I spent time alone, and sometimes that was all I wanted, other times I wanted anything but. I was getting by with everything I had, and I was starting to become happy. How long was this going to last?

School was still rough. I was always going to be known as the girl who survived and I was not going to get past that any time soon. I was the schools definition of a miracle. They were not giving up on that. I was either something to praise or someone to hate. Either way, school was no fun.

Another down side to school was Merriam and Tiffany. Merriam hated me, and Tiffany hated what Merriam hated. Many, many kids in grade five liked Merriam. Everyone followed her, and did as she did, laughed when she laughed.

One day at lunch, Merriam took that meanness to the next level. She had been talking to Tiffany and a bunch of other girls that week. I knew they were planning something, but I couldn't even begin to imagine what she had been up to.

"Just ignore her," Lewis had told me when I brought it up. "If you ignore her, she'll ignore you."

"No she won't," I had answered.

But today I was sitting with Lewis as we had been forever, just talking, when Merriam throw something in my direction from the table across from ours. Lewis and I both looked her way to see what she had thrown, just to get red juice sprayed in our faces. Merriam and her friends started to laugh. Lewis stood up and took a deep breath, then with a smile, he throw his juice into Merriam's face. I gasped as teachers started to come over.

"Look," One of Merriam's friends said, getting everyone's attention. "Cleo has her boyfriend fighting for her." Everyone started to laugh after that. I looked to Lewis, but he and Merriam were already being taken away from the cafeteria. I could already feel myself starting to cry as I was led to the bathroom by one of the cafeteria volunteers.

I was sent home early, and so were Merriam and Lewis. The next day neither of them were in school, leaving me open to all the mean words of Merriam's friends. The day after that Lewis was back, but he didn't talk to me. Merriam didn't come back until the day after that, and Lewis was still not talking to me. He didn't talk to me for a week after the fight in the cafeteria. When he finally did talk to me, he didn't say much.

That summer, Lewis went with his family on some long full summer trip. I was left alone with Kim, not that that was completely bad, but I would've like my friend there. I didn't run into Merriam or any of her friends. I didn't hang out with Emma or Zane or anyone like that. I just played with Kim. I played with my fish. I played with my parents and my babysitters and anyone else my parents thought would be good for me to play with.

Grade six was very different. There were new kids I hadn't ever met before in school, including many from a privet school that had shut down. There was a new popular girl named Brittany and her crew, which was made up of girls from the swim team, including Emma. They ran the school now, which meant no one really bugged me anymore, Brittany wouldn't let them.

Lewis started to hang out with me again, I guess because Merriam had no control over us anymore. But things started to change. Girls wore lip-gloss, and skirts, and dresses when with boys. Boys started to act nicer, and weirder when with girls. Whenever I was hanging out with Lewis, people would always look at us like something was suppose to happen. There were less games, and more talk, less tricks and more mean words. And no one could look at someone else without there being some sort of story behind that look, whether good, bad, or even made up. I couldn't wear pink two days in a row, or a skirt on Friday, or my hair up on Wednesday without being called out by Brittany or Merriam or one of their followers. Things were no longer simple, and I was suddenly ready to fight.

I spent weekends making money around the house, and shopping with my mom. I recreated my wardrobe one outfit at a time. I got make up, pink lip-gloss, and eye shadow. I had my hair cut by professionals and styled it every day in a new way. I had enough shoes to open my own store and enough jewelry to wear a new necklace and pair of earrings for like a year. I read up on stars and watched popular TV shows.

I was 12-years-old, and I was ready for some change. No more sadness and fear, just happiness. I was going to try my best to stay happy. Sure some things wouldn't change. I wasn't about to go swim in the ocean or anything, but I wasn't going to let that fear run my life. I wasn't going to let people's words hurt me, and to that I make sure they aren't talking about me at all. I was happy and invisible. Yeah that should work.


	29. Chapter 29

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 29**

Rikki's Journal

We actually drove until morning, where we only stopped to change and get something to eat. My daddy started talking after that stop. He explained that it might be better for us to just drive for a little bit. It was going to help him clear his head and create a plan. Well a little bit turned into a few days, into a few weeks into maybe we won't stop, ever. My daddy's knew plan was, he was going to teach me while doing odd jobs for money. We weren't getting a house, or a room, or a place to stay at all. We were just going to drive.

Driving was actually kind of fun. Every night we would stop at either a motel or an inn, nothing fancy, it was just a room with two beds. Every day we would drive for miles upon miles before we would get something to eat or stop for a break. I don't think my daddy knew where we were going, and some days, I didn't care.

For the longest time, right after we left, I missed my friends and the stationary life. I missed waking up and knowing what town I was in and who was living next door or across the street. I missed feeling like I was a part of something. But who was I kidding when I wished we could stay there forever. We were never planning on staying there forever, it was too nice. Deep down I knew that sooner or later I would be pulled away from what made me happy. I always was. I guess that is the thought that made me love the driving that much more.

If we were lucky, we could drive for days, only sleeping in rest areas late at night. Other times we would be stuck in one place for more than a few days, my dad finding cheep day cares that would take me or over paying some woman who seemed like she wasn't going to kill me. But I was 11 and not many day cares or babysitters wanted to waste time on someone my age, other times my dad didn't want to waste money.

I was 11 and a half when I was left alone. It was a spring or summer day, and my dad had a job, that was going to pay nice. He was desperate for a sitter, but was coming up short. Finally he looked me in the eyes and asked, "Do you think you can be a big girl and stay all by yourself today?" I had told him yes, because I didn't want to disappoint him, and I was a big girl.

We were staying in a motel, and my dad had given me a lot of schoolwork to work on. I should've been busy all day, but I got bored with schoolwork, and I was never much for TV. So I decided it couldn't hurt to take a small walk. I knew I wouldn't go far, and I would be back before my dad, so he would never know I was gone. There was a park like area behind the motel made up of swings, a slide, and some weird spinning device, all in a sand pit. There was another boy there. He couldn't be over nine or ten, and he was just sitting in the sand. I smiled as I sat down on one of the swings.

"Do you have food?" The boy asked me after we I had been sitting there for a while.

"No I don't," I answered softly. I started to wonder where his parents were. He couldn't be old enough to stay alone, could he?

"Oh," He said looking away from me. I knew he must be poor, he wouldn't be asking for food if he wasn't.

"Where are your parents?" I asked, trying to keep him talking for reasons even I didn't know.

"My mommy told me to stay here and she would pick me up," The boy answered.

"So you are just waiting for her?" I asked. "How long have you been waiting?"

The boy shrugged. I sat back on the swing, just letting it move back and forth. How could his mom just leave him here, alone? He was too little to know any better than to just sit here and wait for her, when she might not ever be coming back. I figured out why he was left here a few minutes late, when a cop walked up to the park and the two of us.

"Are you two lost?" He asked in a soft voice.

"No," We answered at the same time.

"Do you know where you live?" The cop asked, looking from the boy to me. The boy shook his head, but I nodded mine.

"Me and my daddy are staying right there," I said pointing to the motel. "Room 124." I recited the room like it was my real address, not that I had one of those anymore.

The cop nodded, then took the two of us by the hands. He walked me back up to the room, where he knocked on the door and waited for my dad to answer. After a minute, he did answer, looking down at me when he did. Then he wrapped me into a big hug, like when I had been lost in the woods. The cop asked him a few more questions, in the process explaining that people will just leave kids at the park I was sitting at, for example the boy I had been sitting with.

Once the cop was gone, my dad turned to me and told me we were leaving again, not that I was surprised. We drove for longer after that, not stopping for more than a night for a long time.

We spent another year driving around like that, with my dad only leaving me alone when he absolutely had to. We only stayed in motels or inns when we absolutely had to. For the most part, we spent the year in the car, including my birthday, which passed like any other day. I didn't want to ruin what me and my dad had by reminding him of what he had forgotten. It was like the days started to blend, and the weeks, and the months until a year had past, and we had barely stayed in one place for more than two days. It was a rough life, but it was life, that was all there was to it.


	30. Chapter 30

**Before I Fall **

_A/N: Ok so like I said in my last Bella update, they are all now 13. So teenagers… middle school or junior high which ever you prefer. So yeah…. _

**Chapter 30: **

Bella's Journal

"I hate you Ian," I yelled slamming the door in my older brother's face. I am 13 and he is 15, and obnoxious. It was all I could do to stay out of what he and his friend of this location were up to. Of course that landed me in the ocean, which landed me late, and in trouble and back to the beginning of my problem, with Ian.

"Yeah, do you? I didn't know," Ian yelled at me through the closed door. "You only tell me every day."

I grunted, throwing a pillow from his bed against the door. I heard him start laughing on the other side, like everything I did now was funny. Then I heard him say to his friend, "Can you believe my sister. She is so immature."

"I hear yah," his friend answered with a laugh. "I've got a little brother, and he thinks he knows way more than me."

"Yeah, I hate when they think they are better than us," Ian answered him.

So what, Ian thought I was no threat. He forgot who he was dealing with. I was more than just his goofy, little sister, and I was about to remind him of that.

I waited till him and his friend were back playing their video game. Then I slowly opened the door just so I could see them sitting there. They each had a cup of soda, which I knew mom would never like. I smiled, sticking out my hand and making the soda jelly. When Ian's friend went to pick it up, he was so confused, he did exactly what I thought he would, tip the cup over. The jelly changed back right as it hit the nice white carpet, and Ian was freaking out. I couldn't help but close the door and laugh. I listened while Ian yelled at his friend some more, and his friend left with a slam of the door. Then I heard Ian coming towards me.

"What was that for?" Ian yelled as soon as he had opened the door. I quickly stood up to face him. "Not only did you make Allen leave, mom is going to kill me."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have been breaking the rules in the first place," I answered calmly, no smile.

"Oh you've done it this time," Ian said pointing in my direction. His tone was scaring me. "I'm going to get you back, and you are going to regret it."

"Oh will I know," I answered, trying to stay strong. He just shook his head in response and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Once I was sure he had left for good I took a deep breath and looked around the room. When that didn't interest me anymore, I sat down on my bed and looked towards the door. I was furious with Ian this time. I knew I wasn't thinking straight, and I knew it was stupid, but before I could talk myself out of it, I was climbing out of our first story window, landing behind the bushes, then making my way down to the beach. I made sure no one was there, not that anyone ever was. Then I made a running start straight into the water, no turning back.

I did really know where I was going, or what I was going to accomplish from this, other than putting the idea that I was even more alone into my parents heads, but I just continued to swim in one direction. When I thought I was so far out that any sign of land was gone, I stopped and took a long look around the underwater world. There were fish of many colors, dolphins of different kinds, and sharks so big I was surprised they didn't look twice at me. This place was amazing, I wondered why everyone didn't want to see it. I wondered why I wanted to go back to land at all. In fact I didn't.

That night I found a small cave on an island close to where I had stopped swimming. My mom would be finding that I was gone now, picking Ian out about it. Then she would be calling my dad, our neighbors, then the police. I knew Ian would be so angry at me, but I wasn't coming home until he was freaking out, I didn't care what he was going to do to me when I got there.

I fell asleep on the small sandy beach inside the cave I found, my legs curled up so that they would not hit the water. I awoke to light pouring in from the many holes in the ceiling and shining in my eyes. I spent the whole day at sea, even catching and cooking fish like my mom had taught me once when I was younger. I played with dolphins, swam with the sharks, counted fish and made accessories from flowers and shells that I found on the sea floor. I had so much fun, I was surprised when the sun went down.

I knew my parents would be talking to the police now. Ian would be walking up and down the beach, calling my name, hoping I was close enough to hear. Neighbors would be calling close friends, asking for help. My picture would be on the news. I knew I should go back, but something was telling me not to.

The next day was pretty much a repeat of the one before, with dolphins and sharks and fish for food. I was really debating on whether it was worth going home. I was alone at home. I was an outcast with a secret at home. I was nothing at home. Here I was a part of the ocean, this wonderful, wonderful world. And it was decided. I would stay in the sea… forever.

I am 13. I had lived in over three different countries. I had learned everything I could about magic, and my powers, and now I was living on my own in the ocean, in a cave. And I was still only 13.


	31. Chapter 31

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 31: **

Emma's Journal

"I can't believe you did that!" Brittany cried. We were standing with Penelope and Ginger in a very crowded cafeteria. Brittany was not happy after I took pity on the new girl on the swim team, the one Brittany and the others were teasing for not being as great as some of the others on the team.

"So what," I shot back, staying strong and holding my ground. "That was mean, you can't just tease her because she isn't as fast as you."

"Wow, Emma, when did you become boring?" Brittany asked looking to Penelope and Ginger for help.

"Yeah, you've turned into such a loser," Penelope agreed, crossing her arms in the same fashion as Brittany. I knew she wanted my spot in the group, and from the looks of it, she was about to get it.

I am 13. Brittany, Penelope, and Ginger were ganging up on me in the cafeteria. It was the time of fitting in, and I definitely wasn't anymore. They spent the first part of lunch calling me names, and making it very clear they didn't want to be seen with me anymore. I spent the rest of lunch crying in the bathroom. There was nothing I could do. If they didn't want to see me anymore, than they wouldn't. Right before the bell rang I pulled myself together for the rest of school.

That afternoon I came home crying, the names they called me still running through my mind, those people I thought were my friends far from my mind. My mom found me curled up on the couch, tears still streaked down my cheeks. She sat there for a while, just hugging me, not asking for an explanation at all. After a while, she pulled me to my feet and grabbed her car keys. Then we drove. I didn't even think she knew where we were going, but we drove, as she spoke of shopping and dinner.

I spent the afternoon with my mom, window shopping in a town I didn't even knew existed, having dinner in the strangest restaurant. We talked about stuff that wasn't even relevant, laughing at the stupidest stuff. And through everything we did and didn't do, the names disappeared, their faces faded from my mind. The incident was gone, and it was thanks to her. I smiled at my mom as we drove home late that night, and thanked her for what she did with the biggest hug I could give her.

The next day at school, I went through class after class fearing lunch. I tried to remember the night I spent with my mom instead of the looming lunch period, but it was no use. When each bell rang I held my breath, counting the number of bells till lunch and my time of truth.

Then it happened, the lunch bell rang. Everyone raced from the class room, leaving me sitting as frozen as ice. I moved slowly from the room and down the now deserted hallway. When I got to the cafeteria, I stopped and stared at the door for a minute. Who was I going to sit with? I couldn't sit alone. Did I really want to look like even more of a loser? I took a deep breath before stepping into the already crowded cafeteria, holding my lunch bag to my chest like a shield.

I spotted Brittany, Penelope, and Ginger right away. They were sitting with Joshua and Sam from the swim team. They looked up at me just standing there. I could tell they were about to start laughing. If they did that, I knew I would cry.

"Emma," I suddenly heard from behind me. I spun around quick to find Cleo and Lewis sitting at the table not too far from where Brittany and the other's were sitting. "Come sit with us." Cleo said, pointing to the empty seat next to her.

I nodded, and made my way quickly over to where they were sitting. I sat down next to Cleo, who smiled big once I was seated. I looked over to Lewis. He was smiling too. So I smiled as well.

The first part of lunch was a little awkward, with only Cleo and Lewis talking about, well I wasn't exactly sure what. But things got better quick. We all started talking, then giggling, then laughing like the old friends we were and should be. I stopped thinking about Brittany or any of her friends or games. I stopped holding my tongue when I thought something. I stopped trying to be someone I obviously wasn't just so people who weren't really my friends would like me.

I started to sit with Cleo and Lewis every day. We started to become close friends again, laughing about what tore us apart in the first place. We shared ideas and secrets. We all became the best of friends, and really fast at that. I learned more about Cleo than I ever knew about Brittany, and I realized I knew most of it before.

So this was what a real friend was like. There was no lying to make them think you are cool, no telling them what they wanted to hear, no being something you're not so they wouldn't stop talking to you. I thought I was going to like this real friend thing better than anything I ever had with Brittany or her so called friends.

Truth is, the next few weeks, she actually dropped Ginger as well, something about agreeing with me. Ginger ended up hanging out with the new girl, while Brittany and Penelope started to hang around Merriam and Tiffany, something about creating a new group with girls she trusted, not that anyone should trust her. Brittany never could keep a hold of the swim team, most likely since the top swimmer wasn't with her anymore, or was it because they didn't like the meanness since the nice quiet one left. Whatever the reason, no one listened to her anymore, even if Penelope and Brittany hadn't realized it yet. Somehow I was sure they would figure it out sooner or later. Their power was gone, because people were becoming smarter, just like I was.

I am 13. I had lived a hoarded life following those who I thought were my friends. I had been hurt by those who I thought were my friends. I had found out who my true friends were. And I was still only 13.


	32. Chapter 32

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 32:**

Cleo's Journal

"I can't believe you did that," I heard from in front of me. I watched as Lewis turned around to get a good look at what was going down, same as everyone else in the cafeteria. Brittany, Penelope, and Ginger from the swim team were ganging up on Emma, which was coming as a shock to everyone, since Emma was Brittany's best friend.

"What do you think that is about?" I asked Lewis, knowing he would have some theory.

"Has to be something about swim team," Lewis said, turning back to me and smiling. "Emma must have done something little miss perfect Brittany didn't like." Then he laughed, going back to his lunch and ignoring the fight. Lewis was never that big on drama and cat fights.

I, on the other hand, couldn't just ignore it as he could. I watched as Brittany yelled at Emma, using Penelope to her advantage. I knew Emma well, better than she thought I did. I knew she couldn't handle this. And I was right, because as soon as Brittany was done with her, Emma ran.

Right before lunch ended, I excused myself to the bathroom as I normally did. When I walked in I could hear right away that someone was crying in one of the stalls. Somehow I knew right away that it was Emma. Without letting her know I was there, I slipped out to find Lewis before our next class.

"I'm telling you, it was Emma," I told Lewis I whispered to Lewis in our next class.

"And I'm telling you, that there is no way you could know that," Lewis whispered back, looking up to see if the teacher was still occupied with her writing on the board. "I'm not saying that it couldn't have been, but this is junior high. No one goes running to a teacher for every problem anymore, and a lot of girls cry, preferably when they think they are alone."

"And how would you know that?" I asked.

"My brother told me," Lewis explained. "He told me a lot before I started school this year."

"Right," I whispered just as the teacher turned around and started to talk about the book we were supposed to have read. Lewis spun around to face the front of the classroom as I went to pull my book out of my bag, our conversation had been dropped.

I saw Emma again once before the day was up, and she looked fine, as if nothing happened. I knew she was just trying to be strong, trying to keep how much Brittany had hurt her from becoming too public. Everyone was still talking about what happened when school had ended. I tried not to listen to all the talk, but it was hard not to. The talk was everywhere.

"Yeah, and I heard she was so upset she hide in the bathroom and skipped two classes." I heard a girl I barely knew tell another.

"Really, Brittany's been telling some people that Emma hit her," The other girl said. "But that can't be true. Emma wouldn't risk it. She is such a goody-goody. She would want that on her permanent record."

The girls laughed as they walked past where I was sitting. I couldn't stand the rumors. Girls could be so mean sometimes.

"Have you heard what they are saying about the fight during lunch?" Lewis asked coming up from behind me.

"Yeah, everyone is talking about it," I answered as we started towards my house.

"You mean everyone is embellishing it," Lewis corrected. "So far I have heard three different versions of the story and none of them are true."

"And you expected them to be," I asked with a small smile.

"No, but that is not the point," Lewis said. "It's the fact that people have to embellish."

"Like you said earlier, this is junior high," I throw his words back at him. It always worked wonders. "People want drama, and if there is none, they make it up."

Lewis laughed, and we continued our walk talking about anything but what happened at lunch today.

The next day I sat with Lewis at our lunch table as we always did. From where I was sitting I could see Brittany and her crew sitting with two boys from the swim team, boys who's names I never knew. Suddenly, Brittany was looking at something, I knew who it was right away. Emma had just walked in. I looked back to Brittany, who looked like she was going to make a scene.

I don't know why I did what I did, in fact the word was out of my mouth before I could even really think, but I do know in the next second I called out to her, and she turned around to the sound of her name.

"What are you doing?" Lewis asked in a whisper.

"Come sit with us," I said pointing to the empty seat next to me. Then I whispered to Lewis, "Being nice."

I watched as she made her way over to where we were sitting. I started to smile, noticing Lewis was copying me. Emma smiled as well. Yeah this was going great. I had no idea what I was doing, or where to go from here. So I started to talk, and Lewis followed in my footsteps. It was actually a little awkward.

It took a while, but Emma started to lighten up. About half way through lunch we were all talking, then giggling, then laughing like old friends, which we were. Emma started to sit with us every day and Brittany's words just floated to the back of everyone's minds. By the next week, no one even remembered what Brittany had said, or to who. Everyone had moved on to the next story, which was just as stupid and just as embellished as the last. Would kids ever learn? Probably not, I mean this was junior high.

I am 13. I had survived a boat wreck I shouldn't have. I had lost my best friend. I had made a new best friend. I had grown up and out of my old shell. I had found another best friend. And I was still only 13.


	33. Chapter 33

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 33: **

Rikki's Journal

After 2 years of driving with nowhere to go, my father finally announced that we would be getting a home, and staying in one place for a while. We were sitting in a fast-food restaurant when he told me. He explained that I would be starting real school again, and that he had found a permanent job. It had been a while since we had stayed somewhere for more than 2 days, so I was a bit nervous about this.

We arrived at our apartment that afternoon. My dad was so sure that this was going to be a permanent move that he had gotten all new furniture and everything. I was still a little unsure about all of this, but I wasn't about to tell my dad that.

School started the next day, and a lot had changed since grade school. No one was being dressed by their parents anymore. No one cared about toys or play dates or who had the coolest game on the playground. Everyone cared about what everyone was wearing, who everyone was with, and what everyone did with their time. Drama was the new game, and missing half a year of all this stuff, I was seriously lost.

I went into school wearing a new pair of jeans and a nice dark blue short sleeved sweater. My hair was pulled up into a bun, and I had new black sneakers and blue backpack. I thought that this was going to be great, better than living on the road. But I was dead wrong.

The first thing I noticed when I walked into the school was that no girl had a backpack. They had messenger bags. Every girl in the school was wearing pink and their hair was all tied up in ponytails. Also, no one wore sneakers, only flats or flip-flops. I stuck out like crazy. So I took a deep breath, and I started to walk.

"Hey, look at the new girl," I heard a girl call from behind me, loud enough for the whole school to hear. "Looks like she is lost. The grade school is down the street, new girl."

I stopped in my tracks and listened as everyone started to laugh. I was just going to keep walking when I heard another girl cry, "That's enough, Regina."

I turned around to see two girl that looked almost exactly alike. They both had the same dark brown hair, that in this light looked black, and light pale skin that made them look almost ghostly white in comparison to the dark hair. It was obvious they were twins right away. The one called Regina wore a short white skirt and a yellow tank top. She carried a white messenger bag and it was clear to everyone she wore way too much make-up. The one that called out wore a dark red and white striped t-shirt and black shorts. She too carried a messenger bag, but hers was black and she wore either no make-up or learned how to use it correctly.

"Oh, standing up for the new girl are we, Haley?" Regina laughed, making a lot of other kids laugh with her.

"Yes, yes I am," Haley said, walking over to where I was standing and taking me by the arm. "What are you going to do to stop me?"

Regina just watched us for a second. Then Haley turned me around and we started to walk down the hall towards my class as everyone got back to their own business. Once we were far enough away from Regina and everyone had forgotten about us, Haley let me go and said, "Hey, names Haley."

"Rikki," I told her.

"Rikki, I like it," She said with a smile. "You are obviously not from here." She motioned to my look.

"My dad and I have been living on the road for the past 2 years," I explained. "I haven't been to a school since I was like 10 or something."

"And you are stuck in grade school times," Haley finished for me. "Well you either have to get over that," She motioned to my look. "Or them." She motion around us at all the kids in the hall. "It's for your own good."

I nodded as we came up to my next class. Haley looked at the door, then asked, "You here too? Sweetness."

"Sweetness?" I asked as Haley pulled me into the classroom.

Haley helped me out around the school all day, showing me all the new ropes. She introduced me to her friends Windy and Jeffery, and she told me about her sister Regina and Regina's crew, Phil, Annabeth, and Sasha. She was acting like she was recruiting me into her group, onto a side of a war I didn't want to fight. But I need the help, and it wasn't like she was being mean to me, like her sister.

That weekend Haley took me shopping with her and Windy. They helped me create a better wardrobe, something very… me. I even got a messenger bag and some flip-flops.

"We have to at least pretended we are playing their game," Haley had told me with a laugh. "Makes them feel in control, when in reality, no one controls us."

"Yeah, no one," Windy had said, "Only something."

"What does she mean?" I had asked.

"Nothing," Haley said with another laugh, making Windy laugh as well. I could tell they had other purposes for helping me.

I kept my eyes opened, and my ears pealed while I was around them. I think they knew I didn't trust them, but we never fought, we never talked about it. I let them have their secrets. They let me have my space. It was an equal friendship, not like what I had before, but it was something, right? I wasn't alone.

I am 13. I hadn't seen my mother in 4 years. I had lived in so many different places, I couldn't even name them all. I had so many friends I couldn't remember them. And I was still only 13.


	34. Chapter 34

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 34**

Bella's Journal

I opened my eyes to find myself on a fishing boat hearing a guy call to some other people, "She's up she's up." I tried to sit up and remember how I had gotten there, but nothing was coming to me. The last thing I remembered was being in the sea, having fun. Then I was waking up with three strange men looking at me like I was some sort of alien.

"What's going on?" I asked, testing my voice.

"It's alright, sweetie," one of the fishermen said in a soft voice, like a father. "You are ok now."

"What happened?" I asked in a panicky voice. If they saw me as a mermaid, I could never live this down.

"We found you on the beach, asleep," The same guy answered. "We were worried you were hurt, since it was a deserted island, so we brought you on board." I listened as he explained what happened, relived when he never mentioned that she had a tail. "What is your name sweetie? We need to call your parents. They must be worried sick."

I guess this was a wakeup call. What was I thinking living in the sea for the rest of my life? So I told them my full name and my parents phone number. Once we made it back to shore, they called my parents, who had had the police looking for me. They were so relieved when they got the call from the fishermen, and I was allowed to talk to everyone. Ian was the most relieved when he heard I was found and ok. I didn't know Ian cared about me that much.

It didn't take long for my family to make it to the police station that the fishermen had taken me to. As soon as my mom saw me, she hugged me tight and started crying like she hadn't seen me in years. When she was finished with that, my father hugged me and told me he loved me, calling me his little girl. When he was done with that, Ian hugged me, whispering in my ear, "I knew something was going to go wrong on the full moon. Don't scare me like that again."

So I had scared him. Truthfully I hadn't meant to scare anyone, or create this much of a buzz, but everything was back to normal, in a way.

Once we got back to the hotel, my father announced that we were moving again, not a huge surprise. Where we were moving was, London England. He also told us that we would be leaving that night, something I don't think Ian or my mother knew before hand.

The move was quick. We packed. We got in the car. We drove. That was that. We didn't stop driving until we arrived at the new hotel, which was much smaller, and much more discrete then we had been use to. It almost looked like a large cabin in the woods. The only body of water around was a lake like pond somewhere deep, deep in the woods. It was also saluted from anyone mine or Ian's age.

"So we are to be home schooled?" Ian asked as my dad threw a box of books on the desk.

"Is this because I ran away?" I asked, knowing the answer before he said it.

He looked to me. I could see the sadness in his eyes when he said, "I just don't want to lose either of you."

I looked him in the eyes as I said, "Daddy, you could never lose us."

He smiled, then he hugged the both of us. I let him smother me just a little more, before pushing him away.

It took a while, but my dad finally got the hint. He left me and Ian to ourselves. We decided to walk to the lake like pond. It was not the shortest of walks, but it was fine, as long as it meant water. When we got there, I dove right in, while Ian climbed up to a rock that was more like a diving platform. He sat with his legs dangling over the water as we talked.

"That was the dumbest move ever. You know that right," Ian told me as I flouted on top of the water.

"Really, because I survived quite fine on my own," I answered proudly.

"Yeah, until the full moon," Ian reminded me. "Then you almost got yourself exposed."

I sighed, "Then maybe next time I will try somewhere a little more remote. Middle of the Atlantic might work."

"No, Bella, you need to see a little bit of reason," Ian's voice was raise. I moved up right so that I could see him. "You need to grow up, stop acting like a child. You have serious powers, and a serious secret. Don't you understand. I am not going to pull you out every time, and one I'm not going to be there."

I could feel the tears starting to fall from my eyes, so I quickly went underwater. I didn't come up for a while, but when I did, Ian had left. I made my way back through the woods by myself. When I got back to the cabin, I stayed in my room for the rest of the night, not talking to Ian when he tried.

The thing was, he was right. I did need to grow up. I needed to take these powers, this secret more seriously than I had been. I wasn't a child anymore. Hiding myself from the world, running away from my problems wasn't going to work anymore. I needed to do something. I needed to live like a teenager.

The next day Ian and I walked into town. The town was small, very small. I think there had to be only a hundred people around, and most were either over the age of twenty or under the age of four. We walked around a little before finding a group of kids between the ages of twelve and sixteen. When they saw us, they laughed.

"Look guys, the newbies have style," One guys said in an ugly tone. Everyone started to laugh.

I wanted to get back at them, show them I was bigger than them, but I knew that was a childish thing to do. I looked to Ian. He nodded, as if he knew what I was thinking. So we just ignored them and walked away. It did not feel very good, but I did feel older.


	35. Chapter 35

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 35**

Emma's Journal

"Come on, Cleo," I encouraged as I looked on to Cleo standing in the doorway to my backyard. "You don't have to get in the water… just near it."

She shook her head again. "Can't I just help from, I don't know, further away from the water?"

I sighed. It had been like this ever since I had encouraged Cleo to start facing her fear of water. So far, my efforts were wasted. Cleo couldn't even stand next to the pool without freaking out. How on earth was I going to get her in the water?

"Fine, stay there," I called back to her, dropping the stopwatch around my neck onto my towel. "But I'll get you in the water one day, just wait."

Truthfully I knew my efforts were wasted on her, everyone did. It was just a project, I believed with a little work, I could achieve. I hadn't failed at anything in my life and I wasn't about to start now.

I sighed as I turned to the pool and jumped in. I did a few laps before stopping and looking up. Cleo was watching me closely from a pool chair pretty far from the pool. Her eyes were on me, but I could tell her mind was elsewhere.

I wasn't trying to change her, really I wasn't. I just didn't like how she looked to water with such fear in her eyes. She would barley bath or walking through the rain without a little fear crossing her face, as if she was going to die from just getting a drop of water on her skin. I knew that was impossible, but I'm not sure she did. I just wanted to help.

"Baby steps," Lewis had explained to me the next day at lunch. "You can't push too quickly. People have tried and people have failed."

"People like you?" I asked, keeping my eyes open for Cleo coming up.

"Lots of people," He answered, not exactly answering my question.

"Maybe your right," I said slowly. "Baby steps." Thinking for a second I smiled and said, "Like just getting wet."

"What do you have in mind?" Lewis asked me, leaning across the table towards me.

"Rain," I said.

"Rain?" He asked, obviously confused.

I nodded just as Cleo walked up. Lewis leaned back and started at his lunch. Cleo looked from me to him, but dropped whatever question she had before even asking it.

My plan was simple, nothing Cleo couldn't handle. I would just take her into the rain, during a down pore, which we were suppose to have that night. Getting wet, it couldn't be that hard for her. I had seen her get wet before, spilt drinks, washing her hands. So what was a little rain?

I invited Cleo over to my house after school. She agreed, completely unaware of my plan. She was obviously curious when I kept my attention to the window. She would look over as well, wonder in her eyes, but she would never say anything about it.

Finally it started to rain. As soon as a few drops started to fall, I knew Cleo got it. She looked to me, her eyes screaming no before I even asked anything. I sighed and took her arm anyway, leading her towards the door. She fought me the entire way down.

"Emma, please," She cried when we had reached the door.

"It's just a little rain," I pleaded. But I could already see her starting to cry.

"I don't want to do this, please." Her voice was so soft I almost couldn't hear her. I dropped her arm.

Cleo looked away from me, wiping tears from her cheeks. She was so caught off guard when I grabbed her arm with one hand and opened the door with the other. Before she could really get a hold on things, we were outside, rain drenching us every second.

"Emma!" She cried in a high pitch voice. I couldn't help but laugh at her.

She was standing there, shirt sticking to her skin, hair in wet clumps hanging down her back and over her shoulders. She had her arms crossed over her chest, most likely due to the coolness on the water hitting her skin. I probably looked just as bad, and had to admit the rain was a little cold, but I had done it. She was wet.

"And your alive," I mocked her with more laughter.

"It's not funny," She cried. Then she started to laugh as well.

I had done it. Cleo was wet and laughing. I had really gotten Cleo to stand in the rain and laugh about it. With that thought, I started to laugh even harder as I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the yard.

We played around in the yard for hours. I watched as Cleo laughed and danced as any girl our age would. She seemed happier than I had even seen her in years, which was saying something since she was a pretty happy person.

After about an hour in the rain, my mother called us in. She gave us towels, dry clothes and hot chocolate. Then, with our drinks, we settled in and watched a movie we both had seen a hundred times. Every now and then, I would spot Cleo looking out at the rain. Suddenly she turned back and caught me looking.

"It's pretty," She said softly.

"It is, isn't it," I said in response looking out the window to the rain falling fast down the glass. Then I looked back to Cleo and said, "Let's never forget this."

"Why would I want to forget this?" Cleo asked.

"No, I mean let's never forget how great it is to feel the rain on our skin, sliding down our arms and legs, running down our faces, cooling everything it touches." I could tell my words were sinking into her mind. They were almost soothing to me.

I watched as she closed her eyes, going into her own world. Her voice was so soft I could barely hear her, but I made out, "I'll never forget. The rain will be my favorite feeling from now on."

I smiled at the thought, and I had to agree.


	36. Chapter 36

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 36**

Cleo's Journal

"Come on, Cleo," Emma calls to me. She is standing next to her pool in a bathing suit, a stopwatch hanging from her neck. "You don't have to get in the water… just near it."

I shook my head. "Can't I just help from, I don't know, further away from the water?"

She sighed. After Emma started to hang out with Lewis and me, and away from her so called crew, she had been encouraging me to face my fear of water. Truthfully, it was something I just didn't think about anymore, no one did. It felt more like a part of me, something that couldn't be taken away, something that made me who I was. Why did she want me to change so badly?

"Fine, stay there," Emma finally called back to me as she dropped the stopwatch on top of her towel. "But I will get you in the water one day, just wait."

I watched as she turned and jumped into the pool. I smiled as I sat down on a pool chair far from the water. I kept my eyes on her, but just looking at the water put memories of not breathing, my limbs flouting around me unable to cut through the water as nicely as I would've liked, the inability to propel myself upwards, and the fact that I didn't know which way was up.

I know it was silly. It had been years since I had even stepped on a boat for fear of it sinking and getting caught where I couldn't breathe. I know people looked at me funny during swimming sports in gym, and I know what people said behind my back. I didn't care. I had learn to live with this fear. I didn't have to get over it.

The next day at lunch I came up late. I saw Lewis leaning across the table, talking to Emma. Emma was smiling, like she had some sort of idea. I was a little curious for they hadn't spoken much alone at all and now they were sharing ideas or secrets.

I smiled as I sat down, looking from Emma to Lewis. They weren't talking, and I knew I wouldn't get anything out of them. I just smiled and started at my lunch, dropping the subject before bringing it up.

Emma had me come over to her house after school that day. Her attention was always to the window, like she was waiting for something to happen. I would look over every few minutes, but nothing happen. The sky stayed dark. The wind stayed as it was. I didn't know what she was looking for.

Then I understood. Rain. Emma was still working on my fear, and she wanted to take me into the rain, into the down pore. I could tell she knew exactly what I was thinking before she even said a thing. She sighed and took me by the arm. She pulled me completely against my will all the way to the door.

"Emma, please," I cried when we had reached the door.

"It's just a little rain," Emma said in her convening way. It didn't work on me.

"I don't want to do this, please," I had tears in my eyes blurring my vision.

Seeing the tears, Emma sighed, letting go of my arm. I turned away from her so that I could wipe the tears from my eyes. That's when she grabbed my arm again and pulled me right into the rain. I was outside before I even knew what was going on, getting drenched every second.

"Emma!" I cried in a high pitched voice. She was laughing at me, laughing, like this was funny.

"And your alive," She said in a mocking fashion.

I turned away from her again. My shirt was starting to stick to my skin. My hair now hung in wet clumps down my back and over my shoulders. I was practically shivering as the cool water fell on my exposed skin. But she was right. I was alive, barley.

"This is not funny," I cried, laughing as soon as the words were out of my mouth.

The truth was, this wasn't that bad. Emma was right, it was just a little water, what harm did water falling from the sky really have. Yeah, I knew it could do harm, but there was nothing to really be afraid of. It was the water already on the ground, so deep you couldn't stand and there is no air to breath. But putting that out of my mind, I looked back to Emma as she took my hand and pulled me out into the yard.

We ran, and jumped, and danced, and laughed, like everything in the world was going to be great for the rest of our lives. It was the most fun I had had in years, and I didn't want it to end. I wanted to stay out her and laugh and have fun and not think about fear.

But things always end.

After about an hour outside, Mrs. Gilbert called us in. She gave us towels, dry clothes and made hot chocolate. Emma and I drank our drinks while watching a movie we both had seen a hundred times. During the movie, my eyes continued to wonder to the window, where the rain did not let up. It was almost peaceful now. It made me feel peaceful now.

I looked back to find Emma looking at me. I smiled and said, "It's pretty."

"It is, isn't it?" She said in response, looking to the window. Then she looked back to me. "Let's never forget this."

"Why would I want to forget this?" I asked.

"No, I mean let's never forget how great it is to feel the rain on our skin, sliding down our arms and legs, running down our faces, cooling everything it touches." Her voice was relaxing as she described the rain.

I closed my eyes to imagine it all. "I'll never forget. The rain will be my favorite feeling from now on."


	37. Chapter 37

**Before I Fall **

**Chapter 37**

Rikki's Journal

"Again?" I asked when my father told me we were moving.

"Not far," he continued, "I mean, it will be a smaller apartment, and you will have to change schools, but it's not far."

I could believe it. As soon as my life seemed to be going well, we left, leaving everything I had worked for behind. I had to leave my friends, again. I had to start over, again. I had to show everyone who I was and that I was not going to be pushed around, again. And I was starting to get the feeling that nothing was going to change.

So I packed, slowly but completely. When my father said it was time to go, I didn't fight. I didn't cry. I didn't think about what I was leaving behind, because all of a sudden, a lot of that didn't matter to me anymore, not if I was just going to lose it.

Smaller apartment, new job, new street with new kids, a new school, that is what we were getting. New, new, new, it was like we just couldn't get away from new. Well there was one thing I was sure of; I would not have new friends.

The first day of school, I talked to no one. I sat with no one. I looked at no one. I gave no one the impression that I wanted to ever become friends with them.

Staying by myself seemed perfect, less to lose when I left, for me and for them. Watching from the sidelines was fun. It was like a little movie only I enjoyed. My own personal soup opera or reality show.

But after a few weeks, being on the sidelines was lonely. I had no one to talk to, or even sit near. I was truly alone, and worse than that, I was left out. Since I had no one to talk to, I didn't know anything. I was left in the dark. I was in the dark, alone, and far worse than forgotten, never known. I didn't want that. But I didn't want a tie.

That's why I did what I did. That is why I became who I became.

Dressed in all black, I walked, head high into school. Everyone was looking. All eyes were on me. My hair fell in light curls on my exposed pale shoulders. As I walked, my skirt moved just enough to expose and hide parts of my thighs, giving just enough and no more. I was the most watched freshman on campus that day, and for once, I liked it.

"There she is," a guy called as I walked into the cafeteria. I looked over to where three guys from the soccer team were all looking at me, or should I say staring. I couldn't tell if they were gawking or admiring. I smiled before turning away.

"Oh look who it is," I heard a taunting voice say from behind me. I turned around slowly, coming face to face with the head cheerleader, Evelyn, and her gang. "Looks like someone could use a reality check. This is my school, I wouldn't get in my way."

I smiled, a devious smile some would say, "It's not your school, and I can do as I please." I told her before turning back around and starting away, but a hand on my arm stopped me.

"Oh, girls, it looks like someone could use a cool down," Evelyn said. That's when I felt the icy water hit my head and start to run down my back. Everyone in the cafeteria was staring, some were laughing.

"You're going to regret this," I said, storming out.

I spent the rest of lunch trying to dry off, and planning my revenge. After school, I decided to follow Evelyn and her gang. I walked just far enough behind that I could still see them, but they couldn't tell I was there, a trick I picked up from a few murder mystery shows. Evelyn was clueless to my presence.

For revenge, I decided on something simple, something untraceable. Everything was set up when I walked into the cafeteria that morning. All I had to do was sit back and watch. I chose a seat right by the door, perfect view. I wasn't sitting there long before Evelyn walk in with her gang. I watch as they go in line for breakfast, picking up their usual oatmeal and a bottle of flavored water. They went to pay, and started for their usual seats. The surprise came when they sat down.

As soon as they were seated, the whole table collapsed, spilling oatmeal all down their shirts. Everyone in the cafeteria was laughing, including me. The girls were outraged. Teachers quickly started to try to calm them down, but that only annoyed them more. It quickly became a hectic scene and a very entertaining show.

Then I heard, "It was her, she did it," in Evelyn's annoying perky voice.

"Now, Evelyn, let's not accuse people," One of the teachers was saying.

"But it was her, I know it was her," Evelyn was saying. "She said she was going to do something like this. She has practically already confessed."

The teacher signed and looked to me, "Rikki, do you know anything about this."

"No Sur, I do not," I replied with a smile.

"She's lying," Evelyn accused. "She wouldn't admit to it if she really had anything to do with it."

Evelyn was still going on when the teacher pulled her and her gang into the office to get changed. I just couldn't stop smiling as I watched them go.

I quickly got caught up in my thoughts and was distracted when I heard, "Did you really do that?" from behind me. I turned around to find Mason, a boy from my history class. "It was pretty great."

"Thanks," I said, not giving him any reason to think I was trying to become his friend.

"You know, there are a few people I would like to get back at as well," He said sitting down. "If you want to help, maybe we can be a great team."

"And why would I want to work with you?" I asked, not giving him eye contact and focusing on my food.

"Because I am the best pranker in this school." I didn't react. "Because I am a pretty cool person." Still no reaction. "Because I am leaving after this year and you want to help make this year remember able for me." This got my attention. 

I turned towards him, the first bit of eye contact we had made the entire conversation and said, "Well then you've got yourself a deal."


	38. Chapter 38

**Before I Fall**

**Chapter 38**

Bella's Journal

I watched as the rain pattered on the windows. I could hear Ian in the other room laughing at a text from a girl he had met online a month ago. I sighed; I would never get 16-year-olds, not at 14.

I hated England, too much rain, nothing to do, no one to talk to. We had been here a little over a year and the place still hadn't grown on me as my dad said it would. I couldn't wait till we moved, anywhere else.

I ran my fingers over the cold dusty window pain as I heard a woman yelling at my father because there were no dry towels in her room when she had asked for them five minutes ago. Another laugh from Ian and a bang from the front desk finally pulled me away from the window as I turned to watch what was going on. My dad had the angry woman and one of the maids both standing there and it seemed like things were settling down. Great, there went my entertainment.

Just then the door opened and two boys about 17 or 18 walked in holding guitar cases and pulling suitcases. I watched as they went up to the front desk just as the angry lady left. I watched as one complained about the weather and the far off hotel and the other looked over to me. I smiled and I could have sworn he smiled back. My dad handed them card keys and they left the lobby. I jumped up and walked over to my dad.

"Who were they?" I asked as calmly as I could.

"Two members of some big shot band here," my father answered. "And don't you think about bothering them. They are here to stay away from crazed fans, not to get bugged by the manger's daughter."

I nodded, understanding my place. Looking back towards the window, I decided that I wasn't getting out of this place today, so I started back to our room, passing Ian on the way. As if he knew what I wanted to do, he shook his head. I stuck my tongue out at him.

Standing outside our door, I watched the room I knew my dad gave one of the rock star boys. It was one of the nicest rooms in the stupid place. He wouldn't have given them one of the other rooms unless they asked. I stood there and stared for a good two hours, listening to the rain pound on the roof of the three story cabin like building. Finally the door opened and the quiet boy who had looked at me walked out. I smiled as he saw me.

"Hi," he said with a small smile. Then in the kind of voice you used when talking to a kid or a dog he asked, "Do you know where the vending matching are?"

Now upset, I said, "Down the hall to the left," my voice showing off my new annoyance at the treatment.

As he walked down the hall, I slid down the door and leaned my head back with a small bonk. What was I doing? I was 14, he was like 18. He was some big musician and I was just a little kid in a hotel. Why would he even want to pay any attention to me? Why was I even paying attention to him? It wasn't like I had ever done anything like this before. I closed my eyes and listened to the rain that never let up. That's right; I was stuck, where I had never been stuck before.

"Hey," I heard. I opened my eyes to see the quiet rock star boy looking down on me again. "You ok?"

"Just board," I answered. "It rains a lot here. Can't really do anything when it's raining here."

He smiled then, taking a sip from his bottle of soda and asking, "Do you want to hear a song?"

Not thinking, I nodded, quickly standing up and following him into his room. It was a nice room, large bed, large bathroom, large TV, a lounge chair and a couch. The only thing different than the last time I had been in there was the open suitcase on the bed, guitar on the couch, and song sheets scattered on the floor. The boy closed the door and sat on the couch, picking up the guitar.

"I'm Andy, by the way, Andrew for my fans, but Andy for everyone else," He introduced himself.

"I'm Bella," I introduced with a smile, sitting cross legged in front of Andy like a little kid getting ready for story time.

I watched as he pulled his pick from his guitar. He strummed a few notes before starting up with a fast beat song about breaking up with a girl who cheated on him. He was pretty good and I was entranced by the music, the words, the actual meaning in the song. When he was finished, I clapped and he laughed at me.

"How old are you, Bella?" He asked, leaning down so that he was more on my level.

"14," I answered proudly.

"Well, Bella, you ever sing before?" As he said this, he picked up a sheet of music and handed it to me. I looked at it, barley able to read the notes, but understanding the words well.

"You want me to sing?" I asked surprised by the request. "Because I haven't sung since I was a lot younger. I don't know how good I'll be."

"It doesn't matter; I just want to hear you." And with that Andy started to play the song. I took another quick look at the lyrics before starting to sing them. Andy face went blank. I was afraid he was going to stop because I was bad or not what he was expecting, but he kept playing till the end of the song. Then he just looked at me a minute before saying, "And you're 14."

"I'm sorry, was I bad?" I wanted to cry and run out. This was so embarrassing.

"No… Good, really good," He said with obvious shock in his voice. "And you said you don't sing." I shook my head. "Well you should."

Just then the door slammed open and Ian rushed in. He took me by the arm and looked to Andy and yelled, "What do you think you are doing with my little sister?"

"Dude, I was just playing a song for her," Andy said with a laugh.

"Well, I don't want you around her again. Come on, Bella." Then Ian dragged me out of the room. I took one last look at a confused Andy just as the door was closing. As soon as it was closed Ian looked to me and said, "Don't go in his room, or anyone else's room alone again, do you understand. I don't want to lose you to some creep who thinks it might be fun to take a little girl."

I nodded, looking back at Andy's door. He wasn't the bad guy, I know that now. I wasn't the one who had to worry.


End file.
